Fuck you guys, double post because this is goddamn amazing.
This is the story of the two fucking helicopters. I'll cut to the meat.
So, after nail logged off, it was just me and snivy. Apparently the jeep saved somewhere along the way to the fuel tanks in Kraznostav, so Snivy and I went to find the thing in the other jeep. As we we're tooting along, we get fucked by some bandit fag hole. However, lucky for me, I spawned back at the chopper. So, needing to impress the bandit faggots, I took ye olde chopper for a whirl. That whirl was right into the fucking ground. Shit exploded like fuck. At that point, Snivy realized that shit went south fast, and that I probably was about to blow a gasket as we now had absolutely no vehicles. He bailed like fuck. Now its just me in Balota with no goddamn heli-choppers.
Now, after respawning in Balota, I wander through the Balota airfield and find myself a wheel, and engine, and a scrap. Fuck yes! Wait, fuck no, I still had all my starter shit. Whatever, I decide to head over to the helicopter nail and I spotted before he left. This helicopter was north of Gvozdno, in the middle of fucking no-fucking-where. I then proceed toward this middle of fucking nowhere with no gps, no map, no compass, no fucking stars. I shit you not, it was cloudy as fuck. I used the compass built into my massive testicles to head over there. Along the way, I tell my story to some people, and one graciously tells me that he has a main rotor and scrap... parts I need. So I string him along, telling him to go "north", then to go to Devils Castle. Before long, I realize that this guy may actually be useful. So I hook him up with the TS3.
Turns out this guy was a bro. When we finally met up at the chopper, he handed me a compass, food, drink, and helped me fix the whole damn chopper. Fuck though, we only had one damn jerry can. So we poured that bitch in and left for Krasnstav. I figured the jeep might be over there, so why the hell not. As we head through Kraznostav, we stopped at the grocery store to pick up some food and gay things, then moved forward. After some time down the road, we found no trace of the car (at least where I thought it should be), and deemed it gone forever and ever. So we turn ourselves around and start cutting through the trees toward the airbase for gas.
Lo and behold the goddamn car was right in the trees. Jesus that is some goddamn luck. So we took that bitch and drove to the gas station and got us some (1) jerry cans full of gasoline. Rode that bitch UAZ all the way back to the chopper. Now, my balls were itching for some badassedry so I put that damn jerry can in and took off with just two cans of fuel, safely landing near Kraznostav. One small tank and some roadkill later, I landed next to the gas.
Fuck, with only one jerry can, it took fucking ages to fill. It took so many ages, we ended up meeting up with another awesome bro who didnt murder us. In fact, he gave me a blood transfusion (I was fainting in the fucking car as I drove), and held off the horde as we filled the helicopter for half an hour. Fuck yea, new team member.
So, skipping the boring shit, we flew around the whole damn map, scared some noobs, landed on Berezino hospital, didnt get squat (lets never do that shit), and finally headed off to a factory for parts.
These guys were pro-fucking-fessionals. Got the goods like hell. Chopper loaded up with the good stuff and all was nice. Unfortunately, one of the bros had to leave so I bid him farewell. About this time I figure my other bro (the guy that helped me fix the damn chopper) deserved some fucking cookies. So I gave him the UAZ, and helped him hide it. Thus, I bid farewell to him again.
Now, I was quite curious as to what the wreckage looked like after all this time. So I flew over there.
FUCKING CHOPPER WASN'T WRECKED. FUCK FUCK FUCK YEA!!!!!!
So, moral of the story. Have big balls.
Also, I recorded nearly the entire walk to the chopper. I'll get snivy to fucktasmn it up or something and put it on youtube.
