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Entertainment (Read Only) => Games => Post-Based Games/Threads => Topic started by: Yellow Killer on June 26, 2011, 06:41:14 PM

Title: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Yellow Killer on June 26, 2011, 06:41:14 PM

Your at home, sleeping  :sleep:, and all of a sudden, you hear noise. A thief breaks in your house. What do you do? Be Creative as possible!

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Deacon on June 26, 2011, 06:44:18 PM

Quote from: Yellow Killer on June 26, 2011, 06:41:14 PM

Your at home, sleeping  :sleep:, and all of a sudden, you hear noise. A thief breaks in your house. What do you do? Be Creative as possible!

grab the weapon i sleep with and enter "him or me" mode.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: ursus on June 26, 2011, 06:49:01 PM

my dad sleeps with a machete at his bedside
i sleep with two knives stuck into the frame of my bed

and three home-made steel throwing stars in my closet

but i lost my throwing knives :(

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Wafflepiezz on June 26, 2011, 06:53:55 PM

Ninja/Assassin mode activated.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Alphaggot on June 26, 2011, 07:08:54 PM

Go back to sleep. It's probably my dog.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Saetik on June 26, 2011, 08:48:42 PM

But what if it isn't my house? :O

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Wafflepiezz on June 26, 2011, 11:13:11 PM

Quote from: Dragonboy on June 26, 2011, 08:48:42 PM

But what if it isn't my house? :O

(http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=22849,filename=implied-facepalm.jpg)

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: ·UηİŦ·· on June 27, 2011, 02:21:49 PM

Quote from: Yellow Killer on June 26, 2011, 06:41:14 PM

Your at home, sleeping  :sleep:, and all of a sudden, you hear noise. A thief breaks in your house. What do you do? Be Creative as possible!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I do not nid wepon since I know things :> but just in case there is an aluminum bat in the garage.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Based on the layout of my house, the thief would make HELLA NOISE even trying to break in from any angle... the screen doors and the front door are just fucking awkward since my mom put plants everywhere, not to mention the storm door needs to be oiled 10 years ago. One false move in the dark and  :gtfo:

Besides, if they try to break in via the deck ON THE SECOND FLOOR (ninjas), they have to crawl through MY BEDROOM WINDOW (not best idea ever) or go through the door connected to my sister's room to get inside (ololololo).

Since no thief wants to waste that much time getting inside my humble abode, let's just say he/she/they/robot/what goes through the screen doooor. BIG POT CRASHING SOUND OMGWTF. I'll get up, go downstairs, turn on da lights, and watch as failburglar iscoveredinplantshitonfloor. If they get up and try to attack me I break their face with my palm :>

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If they decide to charge me I'll just trip them over the GLASS TABLE using mah martial artz i lrn2wenIwaskid, then bring out the BIG RED ALUMINUM BAT WITH A GOLDEN COBRA ON IT :>

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If they have a gun, I'm pretty sure the common housethief is too much of a pussy to shoot me point-blank. Most likely it's like "uHH uuhuhuh STAND BACK I HAVE A GUN DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT YOU aaaaaawhatdoidonow."
I'll just get shot in the chest/leg/hand/shoulder/not get shot at all, and use adrenaline to fork his eye out with a fork/utensil (since this is the kitchen and most likely he's stealing silverware) before bleeding out... or just fork his eyeballs out in a blaze of glory  :trollface:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If they have a gun and fuck up with said gun, I'll lol and pick UP the gun (most likely putting on the safety while pretending to cock it so I don't get in wif teh law with shooting a person unless I REALLY HAVE TO :>, and aim directly at their testes/genitals/whatever with a grin on my faec, and then tell them YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO GET ON THE GROUND BEFORE I MAKE YOU AN EUNUCH :>

Then again if it's a ladytheif :trollface:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

IF they're trying to steal my Xbox/Wii/TV that works?
Shit, well Game over, am brek 157 of ur bons wif bat :-X

"BITCH I WASTED A WHOLE SUMMER FOR THAT SO I COULD WASTE MORE SUMMERS PLAYING/USING IT".

Or

Break your legs with bat, then carry you upstairs to the roof, blindfold you, and dangle you from your broken legs over the edge until you stop crying and accept your fate... then bring you back to the 1st floor and throw you onto lawn  :trollface:

Of course I'll call the cops if I don't seriously injure the person... otherwise...

I'll just bury them alive using manure and an Iron-cast Casket that is Air-tight and soundproof  :trollface:

And everytime they try to haunt me I'll just set them on fire

Or sell their soul for some material object :>

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Sabb on June 27, 2011, 02:24:20 PM

Quote from: ·UηİŦ··© on June 27, 2011, 02:21:49 PM

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I do not nid wepon since I know things :> but just in case there is an aluminum bat in the garage.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Based on the layout of my house, the thief would make HELLA NOISE even trying to break in from any angle... the screen doors and the front door are just fucking awkward since my mom put plants everywhere, not to mention the storm door needs to be oiled 10 years ago. One false move in the dark and  :gtfo:

Besides, if they try to break in via the deck ON THE SECOND FLOOR (ninjas), they have to crawl through MY BEDROOM WINDOW (not best idea ever) or go through the door connected to my sister's room to get inside (ololololo).

Since no thief wants to waste that much time getting inside my humble abode, let's just say he/she/they/robot/what goes through the screen doooor. BIG POT CRASHING SOUND OMGWTF. I'll get up, go downstairs, turn on da lights, and watch as failburglar iscoveredinplantshitonfloor. If they get up and try to attack me I break their face with my palm :>

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If they decide to charge me I'll just trip them over the GLASS TABLE using mah martial artz i lrn2wenIwaskid, then bring out the BIG RED ALUMINUM BAT WITH A GOLDEN COBRA ON IT :>

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If they have a gun, I'm pretty sure the common housethief is too much of a pussy to shoot me point-blank. Most likely it's like "uHH uuhuhuh STAND BACK I HAVE A GUN DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT YOU aaaaaawhatdoidonow."
I'll just get shot in the chest/leg/hand/shoulder/not get shot at all, and use adrenaline to fork his eye out with a fork/utensil (since this is the kitchen and most likely he's stealing silverware) before bleeding out... or just fork his eyeballs out in a blaze of glory  :trollface:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If they have a gun and fuck up with said gun, I'll lol and pick UP the gun (most likely putting on the safety while pretending to cock it so I don't get in wif teh law with shooting a person unless I REALLY HAVE TO :>, and aim directly at their testes/genitals/whatever with a grin on my faec, and then tell them YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO GET ON THE GROUND BEFORE I MAKE YOU AN EUNUCH :>

Then again if it's a ladytheif :trollface:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

IF they're trying to steal my Xbox/Wii/TV that works?
Shit, well Game over, am brek 157 of ur bons wif bat :-X

"BITCH I WASTED A WHOLE SUMMER FOR THAT SO I COULD WASTE MORE SUMMERS PLAYING/USING IT".

Or

Break your legs with bat, then carry you upstairs to the roof, blindfold you, and dangle you from your broken legs over the edge until you stop crying and accept your fate... then bring you back to the 1st floor and throw you onto lawn  :trollface:

Of course I'll call the cops if I don't seriously injure the person... otherwise...

I'll just bury them alive using manure and an Iron-cast Casket that is Air-tight and soundproof  :trollface:

And everytime they try to haunt me I'll just set them on fire

Or sell their soul for some material object :>

Just wondering, did anyone read this?

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Hotgreensoldier on June 27, 2011, 02:33:32 PM

Quote from: Sabb on June 27, 2011, 02:24:20 PM

Just wondering, did anyone read this?

I didn't. He always puts HUGE posts but puts them in spoilers so that people can read it.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Seb on June 27, 2011, 02:40:30 PM

Quote from: hello my name is gamefreak on June 26, 2011, 06:49:01 PM

my dad sleeps with a machete at his bedside
i sleep with two knives stuck into the frame of my bed

and three home-made steel throwing stars in my closet

but i lost my throwing knives :(

you so cool bro

i wish i was as cool as you

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Foofoojack on June 27, 2011, 05:03:18 PM

Quote from: Edgar Allen Poenis on June 27, 2011, 02:40:30 PM

you so cool bro

i wish i was as cool as you

same dude he's badass

grab AR-15?

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Deacon on June 27, 2011, 05:04:13 PM

Quote from: Edgar Allen Poenis on June 27, 2011, 02:40:30 PM

you so cool bro

i wish i was as cool as you

this is why i said "weapon"

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: ursus on June 27, 2011, 05:57:30 PM

Quote from: Deacon on June 27, 2011, 05:04:13 PM

this is why i said "weapon"

what

knives aren't cool anymore?

:(

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Deacon on June 27, 2011, 06:32:23 PM

Quote from: hello my name is gamefreak on June 27, 2011, 05:57:30 PM

what

knives aren't cool anymore?

:(

You didn't hear me say that
I have several knives

but it is frowned upon for some reason
to say "i sleep with ____"
because it seems like bragging

even though that is not the case.
at least, for me.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: ·UηİŦ·· on June 27, 2011, 07:43:29 PM

Quote from: Hotgreensoldier on June 27, 2011, 02:33:32 PM

I didn't. He always puts HUGE posts but puts them in spoilers so that people can read it.

>Not so people can (must) read it, I do it so people (I hoped) would know that they are not obligated to read every fucking Giantpost I make, or know that
"Oh shit, another fucking wall of text." *skip* :xmastree:  :present: (Maybe there should be a tl;dr button   :idk:)

>If I leave/left a big post on every topic I post on, you have to scroll that shit, I would find that annoying... do you really want to do that or would you rather a single line of text that should maybe later be accompanied by "You can skip this"  :|

I would reach into my computer screen and scare the thief off with my really long posts.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Hotgreensoldier on June 27, 2011, 07:51:59 PM

Quote from: ·UηİŦ··© on June 27, 2011, 07:43:29 PM

>Not so people can (must) read it, I do it so people (I hoped) would know that they are not obligated to read every fucking Giantpost I make, or know that
"Oh shit, another fucking wall of text." *skip* :xmastree:  :present: (Maybe there should be a tl;dr button   :idk:)

>If I leave/left a big post on every topic I post on, you have to scroll that shit, I would find that annoying... do you really want to do that or would you rather a single line of text that should maybe later be accompanied by "You can skip this"  :|

I would reach into my computer screen and scare the thief off with my really long posts.

Sorry, I was a bit ancy at the time. If you put huge spoilers like that every time you post, people would just begin to ignore your posts completely. I'm not saying they are pointless, I just want to ask of you to shorten them a bit.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Alex Mason, SOG on June 27, 2011, 08:14:58 PM

I keep a blowdart beside my bed.
Come at me bro.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: blαh2355 on June 28, 2011, 08:40:04 AM

I have a nerf gun, amidoinitrite?

jk, I would go Sam Fisher

jk again, I would use a baseball bat!

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: cogsandspigots on June 28, 2011, 07:10:09 PM

Since I sleep on the upper floor of my house and it has an interior balcony and I have a knife in my room, I would go Ezio and air assassinate the thief.

Jk, what I would really do, buckshot to the thief's torso.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Wafflepiezz on June 28, 2011, 09:38:26 PM

Quote from: cogsandspigots on June 28, 2011, 07:10:09 PM

Since I sleep on the upper floor of my house and it has an interior balcony and I have a knife in my room, I would go Ezio and air assassinate the thief.

Nope, you'll need a HIIIIDDDEEENNN BLLLAAADDDEEE for that.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Alex Mason, SOG on July 01, 2011, 10:02:16 PM

Quote from: Yellow Killer on June 26, 2011, 06:41:14 PM

Your at home, sleeping  :sleep:, and all of a sudden, you hear noise. A thief breaks in your house. What do you do? Be Creative as possible!

It said creative.




Don't struggle honey.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Captain Communism on July 01, 2011, 10:04:52 PM

I don't sleep.

If I see a stranger coming to my doorstep, I give them two warnings. Then, if that fails, well.... "Wave goodbye to yer head, wanka!"

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: StartedBullet on July 31, 2011, 10:52:59 PM

Use my plasma rifle ( rail gun, in progress ) to do a cheap scrotum removal on him, or if it was a her I'd just shoot her good hand.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Ἆxule on July 31, 2011, 11:40:26 PM

Since I live downstairs and the rest of my family live upstairs, I'd be alone on this.
Anyways, I'd grab my knife, sneak up behind whoever is breaking in, disarm whatever they're carrying and put them in a sleeper hold along with my knife at their neck.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Foofoojack on August 01, 2011, 08:24:40 PM

Quote from: Axule on July 31, 2011, 11:40:26 PM

Since I live downstairs and the rest of my family live upstairs, I'd be alone on this.
Anyways, I'd grab my knife, sneak up behind whoever is breaking in, disarm whatever they're carrying and put them in a sleeper hold along with my knife at their neck.

>implying it would go that smooth

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Deacon on August 01, 2011, 08:33:03 PM

Well since this has been bumped I may as well take another opportunity to show off my contribute.

Would you want to break into the house of a guy like this?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/8435_1196146459851_1114143067_30704011_1418468_n.jpg)I hadn't realized how old this picture is...wow

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Sabb on August 01, 2011, 08:34:36 PM

Quote from: TakeBackTheRain on August 01, 2011, 08:33:03 PM

Well since this has been bumped I may as well take another opportunity to show off my contribute.

Would you want to break into the house of a guy like this?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/8435_1196146459851_1114143067_30704011_1418468_n.jpg)I hadn't realized how old this picture is...wow

Dat Deacon.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: [Valor]iPounce on August 01, 2011, 11:07:47 PM

Quote from: TakeBackTheRain on August 01, 2011, 08:33:03 PM

Well since this has been bumped I may as well take another opportunity to show off my contribute.

Would you want to break into the house of a guy like this?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/8435_1196146459851_1114143067_30704011_1418468_n.jpg)I hadn't realized how old this picture is...wow

Hello crazy Dave

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Wafflepiezz on August 02, 2011, 11:16:16 AM

Quote from: Sabb on August 01, 2011, 08:34:36 PM

Dat Deacon.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Roach :3 on September 08, 2011, 12:16:41 AM

Wakes up and tells chuck norris to check it out.

Or

Wakes up in his FONV(Fallout new vegas)Desert Ranger armor and anti material rifle and goes to check it out. 

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Foofoojack on September 08, 2011, 07:37:56 AM

grab airsoft gun

400 rds of 410 fps

awhh yeahhh

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Roach :3 on September 09, 2011, 10:16:50 AM

Wakes up with HIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEENNNNNN BLLLLLLAAAAAADDDDDDEEEE and tells the thief that my father is porn star(I mean you DONG LONG(Foofoojack)):3.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Alex Mason, SOG on September 09, 2011, 01:14:46 PM

Why you raid my house? Your job is medic.
Banhammer.  :magichammer:

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Tomcat on September 09, 2011, 09:35:21 PM

Quote from: Foofoojack on September 08, 2011, 07:37:56 AM

grab airsoft gun

400 rds of 410 fps

awhh yeahhh

wouldn't do shit

Grab Meh S&W 40 and act like im in swat

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Supertoaster on September 10, 2011, 12:05:10 AM

use spare graphics card as knife

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Roach :3 on September 10, 2011, 12:53:23 AM

Thief is in the living room and breaks a bottle.

Shane(me) wakes up, goes down stairs with his dick out.

Thief looks at Shane screaming like a girl "GAY WANTS TO FUCK ME." runs out.

Shane makes his face like wtf (-_-) looks down and says "Oh shit I'm naked".

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Alex Mason, SOG on September 10, 2011, 04:42:44 AM

Quote from: Supertoaster on September 10, 2011, 12:05:10 AM

use spare graphics card as knife

Send me one?

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: aerobro on September 12, 2011, 02:56:07 PM

Shoot him with my gun app on iPhone 4! :O

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: StartedBullet on September 12, 2011, 03:51:25 PM

Beat him to death.... with a spoon!

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Foofoojack on September 13, 2011, 03:49:41 PM

Quote from: Tomcat on September 09, 2011, 09:35:21 PM

wouldn't do shit

Grab Meh S&W 40 and act like im in swat

alrighty then

grab 500 FPS L96 AWP

30 rds of bolt action .20's

ahhh yeaahh

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Sally on September 13, 2011, 06:44:08 PM

First Downloads 2 Tb of porn
Second Watch the porn
Third Download Halflife2 leaked
Forth Turn sv_cheats to 1
Fifth type impulse 101 and impulse 83
Oh fuck yeah!

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: Deacon on September 14, 2011, 10:41:54 AM

Quote from: Tomcat on September 09, 2011, 09:35:21 PM

Grab Meh S&W 40 and act like im in swat

CZ-75 P07 Duty. I'll be the sidekick.

Title: Re: Thief vs. victim! Use Your Imagination!
Post by: mickey0528 on October 23, 2011, 06:46:00 AM

Spoiler: Plan 1 (click to show/hide)

Step one: Turn on my laptop
Step two: Go on Youtube
Step three: Search for "How to fight off burglers" on Howcast
Step four: Watch a 10-minutes video about it
Step five: Try to fight back if i didnt get knock out when watching the video

Spoiler: Plan 2 (click to show/hide)

Step one: Turn on laptop
Step two: Go on Youporn
Step three: ???
Step four: Burgler dies
Step five: Profit?

Spoiler: Plan 3 (click to show/hide)

Step one: Call for police
Step two: Wait for 15 minutes

Spoiler: Posibility 1 (click to show/hide)

Step three: Police comes, catch dumbass burgler
Step four: Done.

Spoiler: Posibility 2 (click to show/hide)

Step three: Burgler stab me in the stomach, I die
Step four: Police comes and find my body
Step five: More police investigate
Step six: Dumb police fail to find burgler
Step seven: Whole society becomes unstable cuz fail police
Step eight: Hong Kong is no longer a civilized city
Step nine: Global Stock Market crashes because the lost of HK
Step ten: Countries lose moneh
Step eleven: Moar riot
Step twelve: Moar countries involve
Step thirdteen: World War 3
Step fourteen: Nuclear warfare, destroy lotta countries
Step fifteen: Human extinct due to nukes
Step sixteen: Earth destroyed after ages
Step seventeen: Space shits gather, forming new planets
Step eighteen: Human appears on new planet
Step ninteen: Stone Age->*insert random periods here*-> Modern Age
Step twenty: More burgle
Step  21-38: repeats step 3-20 to infinity