Is love worth it?

[Ἆxule]

My best friend (who is a girl) are having a heated discussion right now. It's really annoying me because she doesn't seem to understand my view. of course, I probably don't understand her view either. So I came to you guys to see what your view is, and whether or not you agree with me or her.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I don't care about winning this argument. I just simply want to know if it's worth it.

The main conflict:  It's better to be alone then be in a relationship with someone.

She's been having a hard time getting over someone lately, and so she was telling me how today she almost made the mistake of going back to this dude. A few texts later and I start to lose it. She's telling me it's better to be alone then be with someone you like (or love, whichever). This was a hard hit to the heart because I myself have never even been in a real relationship. What started setting me off is that she's been in relationships, and she keeps going back to them. She's never had to deal with being alone like I have, and yet here she is telling me that dating hurts more than being alone. If it hurt so much, why does she keep going back into relationships??

I get that either way, it hurts. But which one is more worth it? The long, continuous pain of having no one there to experience what it's like being human. Or does it hurt more when you two get in a fight and break up?  Though I've never felt what it's like to be hurt in terms of a broken relationship, I think it's still worth it, don't you?

She countered this by saying that all guys are the same. All they want is sex, and is always thinking about sexual things. she said that because of that, people are always going to get hurt. Yeah, I get it, men are sexual beasts. It's who we are, it's in out blood. That's how we were built. The difference is those guys who actually TRY to control it, rather than those who will do anything in their power to experience it.

There is a little bit more, but this is all you really need to understand whats going on.

Is it worth it?

[ursus]

It hurts more to be with the wrong person, but finding the right one is worth it.

[Cake Faice]

It hurts more to be with the wrong person, but finding the right one is worth it.

[Doctor Who]

It hurts more to be with the wrong person, but finding the right one is worth it.

But it takes a couple of weeks or months to figure out if you're with the right person

[ursus]

But it takes a couple of weeks or months to figure out if you're with the right person

I think you missed the part where I said "finding the right one is worth it"

As in, worth all the shit.

[Shawn]

Sorry dude I'm on her side I've been screwed too many times by females. Hence way I've been single for so many years now. I do agree that being alone is depressing and hurts but when you get hurt by someone you truly loved there is no comparison to that hurt, time does not heal all wounds!


"why does she keep going back into relationships??"

Thats human nature we find comfort in familiarity.

[○ Μαρία ○]

Honestly, I've never been in a relationship myself either, so it is a bit hard to say, but my views on love/relationships are this:
Being alone might seem like a better option only because, you would only have yourself to please and no one else, and you would never have to worry about the heartbreak; as much as I would like to be with someone, I think that for a relationship to really work, you can't just like a person, you need to be friends with that person, best friends. Too many people now days get into relationships with people they've only known for a couple days or weeks, thinking they know the person; and then in short period of time (sometimes this isn't the case but generally) they realize that they really aren't meant for each other, and that they didn't know them as much as they really thought they did. Also, there is that sexual drive that causes people to get together, only to realize that there is more to a relationship then just sex. Now to choose whether to be single or to be together really depends on the people. When you find that person who you can talk about anything with, and that your time isn't spent smooching on each other, but actually being together and doing things, that in my opinion is a true relationship, and with that in your grasp you really shouldn't have that many conflicts. You'll know how to talk to each other so that you can avoid problems. In honesty, love is worth it in the sense that you have someone to be happy and share happiness with. Isn't that all a person could ask for?

My friends tend to go back to the person they break up with as well, and always say that same thing "I'm done with guys blah blah blah" But they're the type of people I think, that look at dating someone as an accessory. "Being single isn't as cool as being in a relationship apparently" So when they break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, all they complain about is how they can't stand being single. What? Can't stand being single? What about "I can't stand how sad it is to lose that wonderful friendship we had, it's really upsetting." Nope, that's just how a lot of people are now days, they can't stand not being able to say "I'm in a relationship with someone" on their facebook, it's quite unfortunate.

(sorry about the tl;dr)

[Peetah]

Love is something people use too loosly.
Has no real scale.
Can be a feeling or something irreplaceable.
Kinda obvious what it currently is.

[Seb]

Love is nonexistent, it's glorified lust with genuine attraction sprinkled in.

I'd get in depth but I've been awake for three days.

[Ἆxule]

It hurts more to be with the wrong person, but finding the right one is worth it.

Well then you're going to get badly hurt anyways, unless by pure chance you happen to meet "the one" first. But that is true none the less.

Sorry dude I'm on her side I've been screwed too many times by females. Hence way I've been single for so many years now. I do agree that being alone is depressing and hurts but when you get hurt by someone you truly loved there is no comparison to that hurt, time does not heal all wounds!


"why does she keep going back into relationships??"

Thats human nature we find comfort in familiarity.

Is it worth to have never loved at all though? Seeing as I've never been with anyone, I've never felt that kind of connection with someone. I know I'll get hurt eventually, but I can't imagine the hurt being as bad as the hurt from being alone. You'll hurt for awhile, no doubt, but when you're alone, it's always hurting.

Honestly, I've never been in a relationship myself either, so it is a bit hard to say, but my views on love/relationships are this:
Being alone might seem like a better option only because, you would only have yourself to please and no one else, and you would never have to worry about the heartbreak; as much as I would like to be with someone, I think that for a relationship to really work, you can't just like a person, you need to be friends with that person, best friends. Too many people now days get into relationships with people they've only known for a couple days or weeks, thinking they know the person; and then in short period of time (sometimes this isn't the case but generally) they realize that they really aren't meant for each other, and that they didn't know them as much as they really thought they did. Also, there is that sexual drive that causes people to get together, only to realize that there is more to a relationship then just sex. Now to choose whether to be single or to be together really depends on the people. When you find that person who you can talk about anything with, and that your time isn't spent smooching on each other, but actually being together and doing things, that in my opinion is a true relationship, and with that in your grasp you really shouldn't have that many conflicts. You'll know how to talk to each other so that you can avoid problems. In honesty, love is worth it in the sense that you have someone to be happy and share happiness with. Isn't that all a person could ask for?

My friends tend to go back to the person they break up with as well, and always say that same thing "I'm done with guys blah blah blah" But they're the type of people I think, that look at dating someone as an accessory. "Being single isn't as cool as being in a relationship apparently" So when they break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, all they complain about is how they can't stand being single. What? Can't stand being single? What about "I can't stand how sad it is to lose that wonderful friendship we had, it's really upsetting." Nope, that's just how a lot of people are now days, they can't stand not being able to say "I'm in a relationship with someone" on their facebook, it's quite unfortunate.

(sorry about the tl;dr)

I can totally understand. It's annoying to see those people who date for like 2 weeks, then never speak to each other again.

I really admire those people who stick with each other forever. especially in High School. It fills me up with hope that one day I'll be that lucky as to find someone special. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like it's  better to be alone. I just don't want that though.
I'm just weird I guess : /

[Travelsonic]

So far my story has been going well - but then again, maybe two people with the same behaviors, quirks, and disorders work perfectly together.

[○ Μαρία ○]

Well then you're going to get badly hurt anyways, unless by pure chance you happen to meet "the one" first. But that is true none the less.

Is it worth to have never loved at all though? Seeing as I've never been with anyone, I've never felt that kind of connection with someone. I know I'll get hurt eventually, but I can't imagine the hurt being as bad as the hurt from being alone. You'll hurt for awhile, no doubt, but when you're alone, it's always hurting.

I can totally understand. It's annoying to see those people who date for like 2 weeks, then never speak to each other again.

I really admire those people who stick with each other forever. especially in High School. It fills me up with hope that one day I'll be that lucky as to find someone special. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like it's  better to be alone. I just don't want that though.
I'm just weird I guess : /

I think you have that feeling, because you see the failure in others relationships, which turns you off from the topic entirely. Just like when you see a couple together happy, you feel a complete opposite feeling; at least, that's just me.

[Devie]

There was a shit ton of pain, hurt and saddness during the course of my 6 year relationship.
It wasnt always a pretty picture. We weren't always happy the way we were with eachother.
It was really difficult and sometimes we both thought about giving up and moving on to different people.
6 years we've been together - about 4 years of it consisted of pain and endurance to stay with eachother.


It took two to fix it. Our relationship is 10000x better now because both of us decided to finally fix it as one.

it's always hard for me to talk about this because what we went through was complete hell. But what I learned was
when things are starting to get rough, don't just give up and find the next person. If you honestly really do love that person
you'll be willing to do anything to fix it.. and vice versa.

I mean, at the end of the day, it feels good to have someone to be there for you. Play games with you, and share common interests with.
I know I'll never find a person like him and he'll never find a person like me.
We did have a rough life but we stuck it through.

So yes, it's worth loving another human being, there will be no other better love story than the one you create on your own.

Kurt Vile "Baby's Arms"

[coolzeldad]

I might be crazy but I believe the ups and downs of love make it worthwhile.

To me it's better than a stagnant experience going without it.

[Ἆxule]

I think you have that feeling, because you see the failure in others relationships, which turns you off from the topic entirely. Just like when you see a couple together happy, you feel a complete opposite feeling; at least, that's just me.

You're right. I always try my best to learn from other peoples mistakes, but when I look at those who are happy together, then whats the mistake?

There was a shit ton of pain, hurt and saddness during the course of my 6 year relationship.
It wasnt always a pretty picture. We weren't always happy the way we were with eachother.
It was really difficult and sometimes we both thought about giving up and moving on to different people.
6 years we've been together - about 4 years of it consisted of pain and endurance to stay with eachother.


It took two to fix it. Our relationship is 10000x better now because both of us decided to finally fix it as one.

it's always hard for me to talk about this because what we went through was complete hell. But what I learned was
when things are starting to get rough, don't just give up and find the next person. If you honestly really do love that person
you'll be willing to do anything to fix it.. and vice versa.

I mean, at the end of the day, it feels good to have someone to be there for you. Play games with you, and share common interests with.
I know I'll never find a person like him and he'll never find a person like me.
We did have a rough life but we stuck it through.

So yes, it's worth loving another human being, there will be no other better love story than the one you create on your own.

Kurt Vile "Baby's Arms"

I would be willing to fight for her (when I have someone). All that pain, anger, and sadness, I'd be willing to go through just to hold her in my arms. Besides, she (still when if I have someone) will add something in my life that I've never had. My life seems boring and dull now, with no interesting story to tell. With someone in my life, I think all of that would go away. The loneliness, the dullness.

I might be crazy but I believe the ups and downs of love make it worthwhile.

To me it's better than a stagnant experience going without it.

I can understand that. It's like always being fed sweets. Eventually you get sick of it. But once you start adding in the healthy, and sometimes nasty, food in there, that's when the sweet food becomes even more desirable and sweet.