I let out a wicked evil/dark laugh when I read some parts. No idea why. Scared myself.
But, ignoring that;
There's no true yes or no answer. I mean there's this answer and I love it:
But there are many answers you can follow if you so choose. Or, not follow. Hell, you can do both/be both, in some circumstances.
People are people, however saying that is ironic as not many of the same person is the same or thinks the same, especially not at the same time or place, too.
Rare instance you find that someone who you only need to say five word to in order to cause a sudden blackout.
It also depends what you mean by being alone, and then being in a relationship.
The relationship could be
or it could be
Or, you know, it could be
In any case, depends on the person you are, and the person you will yourself to be afterwards.
Me? I'm the most INTROVERT, Stoic, Loner-like, Questionable, Outcasted-Outcast ever.
I have... 5 levels of myself that people can know IRL. That's just how Stoic I am. And I like it like that. Everything's Nice and Quiet, I can hear myself think about nice things even if things aren't so nice, and I can sit back and enjoy my youth (And Freedoms, including Freedom of Speech) while I still have them/it.
I mean I love the fuck out of drawing.
Instead of worrying if she's pregnant/cheating/something silly/Rumors/Drama AND passing the exams, I can go outside and watch the Sun rise. Or, Sleep in and dream about the Sun exploding.
I don't need to worry about who said what and who did what, and what she/he thinks and what she/he says or any of that fucking wool-over-head bullshit I'm too busy to deal with ._.
It's probably because of the people around me participating in what Sabb just explained and then some. If I try to follow suit like everyone else, it's like holding a meat-bag full of nothingness.
That's why I'm so Locked in Place. Yet I make people smile. And I'm always trying to figure people out, anyways. That is, if there's something I think there's worth unleashing.
Being my current self, I'd say it's better to be alone because it's a Needle in the Pacific Ocean covered in metal shards out there. But that's because of the Environment. Physical-wise (Location, Climate), Social-wise (Media, Societal Norms and Influences and Stereotypes), and Mental-wise (This one should be easy. Xenophobia :u).
If anything, you could still be the most rustic, in-need-of-repair, scratched, dented fucking hammer without a head to hammer with. The only issue is, most people only want to hear themselves talk (Indecisively at that)- and then complain that I'm not saying anything back. Well fuck, I'm sorry for being an attentive listener and not interrupting or misinterpreting anything and taking things slow like you wanted me to... sounds like you just want me to make you feel good and nothing else ._.
I'm nobody's instant gratification, not even my own.
And then some people just want to go so fast. Shit, I don't even know you, and you want me to do WHAT?
It'd just be better if, for a second, you ever listened to me when I say something (Because from what I'm getting, this is what you wanted)- and even better, actually learned things about life that I've actually had the time to sit down and think about/experience unlike some people I know, so you don't have to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off/constantly pester me and play My Little Bipolar Nutcase. And I know that I don't know much. But good god, I've been places, and know things that I see some people requiring constant baby steps with. Like not knowing how to go about things (FEEEELIIINNNGGSSSS ARE WEIRD/GAY/ICKY).
Most of everyone's so, surface-and-nothing-else :I
I don't even (usually) say no to whoever approaches me. I can't be a hypocrite. I'll try it out.
I want to see what makes you tick. Hell, I want to make sure you're ticking.
I want to make sure you're running at peak efficiency.
That's the only way I know for sure that we'll keep working in tandem instead of falling apart.
Especially because I know most people don't have the heart :u
Corny tl;dr
I'm sort of like you in the sense that I like to be alone and not having to worry about others. Even then though, The thought of having that one person who gets you and understands you makes it to where I don't want to be completely alone. I guess sex sort of plays in here too. Naturally, I want to have a sexual relationship. However, as a personal thing, I don't want to experience that with just anyone. I want to experience it with someone who I know and love.
It's a constant battle though for me. Half of me just wants to be alone and not have to worry about that stuff, but the other half wants to experience that connection with someone, but emotionally and physically.
