I hate making so many fucking people be my friends
somehow for reasons I can't even grasp (IRL).
I hate how magically everyone's on good terms with me IRL unless they have some sort of inner conflict that never gets solved until I solve it for them and they end up wanting to be my bestest buddy after telling me to Sod Off multiple times.
I hate how good I can hold Grudges.
I hate how Human I can be sometimes.
I hate how nice I am to people.
I hate the choices I make sometimes in life.
I hate having a high metabolism.
Sometimes I hate being smarter than everyone around me IRL- and then meeting even smarter people on the Internet who I enjoy listening to, because occasionally it sets in on me that besides the Internet I'm
Forever Alone in terms of being able to talk to someone for more than 5 seconds about something serious- and then being ignored, and then being asked to listen to a poop joke without interrupting. It seriously gets depressing.
I hate myself for being 'friends' with 'friends'.
I hate myself for procrastinating sometimes.
I hate having to shave myself bald every 5 months because my hair has superpowers.
I hate overthinking.
I hate underthinking.
I hate contradicting myself and thus becoming indecisive.
I hate being neutral/both-sided with things, sometimes even
sexuality (I tend to humor the same sex, though (If it's that kind of situation). I'm not really into that. But I'm also not turning down any form of affection whatsoever
especially if someone's going to go out of their way to straight-up admit something that otherwise would make them Public Enemy #1 (I overheard someone saying they were afraid of "Gay people" ._. )
If they have the guts to be open about it (doesn't even have to be homosexual: if what most people call an 'Ugly' Girl did the same thing;) I'm going to acknowledge that right there on the spot... fucking like,
High-five that shit up and whatnow, because most of the time it's a bunch of Fancy-dandy consumer whore'd
barbie dolls/ STRAIGHT UP GEES, SWAG walking around on their Iphones and playing... god knows what new popular song, and all their concerned about is bragging rights on "HE'S SO SMERT" and "
YO FUCK DAWG MAN YO HE'S FUCKING BRAINIAC SHIT RIGHT DERE, YO HE SNAPS LIKE EVERY SECOND I SWEAR HE SWALLOWED A CALCULATOR MAN YO WHAT YOU GONNA BE WHEN YOU GROWD UP GUY SHIT EVEN KNOWS WHAT WE'S SAYIN", and "HE'S SO SILENT Y U NO TALK TO ME" and "I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND EVERYONE LOOK
HE'S MINE."
Fuck. That. Shit. I need to find a girl who understands what 2+2 is, and knows what they want to do in life.
You know what? They don't even need to know what they want to do in life. They just need to be 3/4 of my IQ.
And if it's not a girl I still couldn't be arsed to give a damn. Still a human being showing the same amount of sapience and compassion (as much as being humane goes these days)
I hate how much I tl;dr.
I hate being so truthful.
I hate how serious my normal face looks sometimes.
I hate how my face still looks pretty youthful because I never did facial expressions a lot as a kid other than crying.
I hate how exaggerated I can make my facial expressions look now because sometimes it makes me feel like I'm wearing a mask ._.
I hate knowing a fuckton of dead people.
I HATE HOW LONG MY EYELASHES ARE WTFFFFFFFFFFFF I DON'T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO THEM
I hate how many times I curse even though it's fairly equivalent to how many times I do curse in real life (and my occasional stress levels).
I hate how I always go out of my way for people, like holding doors and picking things up.
I hate how I always pick up garbage and put it where it belongs instead of on the floor- seriously, the fuck, ketchup everywhere. I'm not stepping in that shit; I don't think anyone else has to either.
I hate being responsible sometimes.
I hate having grown up sometimes.
I hate that I have no choice but to legit sit outside in the rain, alone sometimes because of my own personal traits that make me really incompatible with people who otherwise are completely oblivious to everything and anything about me, and would rather tell me their life story with rainbows and fluffy kittens and cotton candy as if that's all that ever existed and will exist.
I hate being repetitive.
I hate not having the words to say what I mean when I'm a Walking Dictionary.
I hate being born sometimes ._.