Hurting myself.
Not in a horrible fucked up cutting myself way LOL
But I pick the skin off the side of my thumbs all the time..to the point where it bleeds. When I see it bleed, I get happy, and I dig more making it worse and worse. Then I stop, let the blood get dry and keep going. Once I think it's deep enough, I move onto the next space on my thumb that I can dig into more.
The more painful and the more blood I see, the more I get happy. Then I stop though after my fulfillment.
I've tried to stop but it's really hard.