If I called your wife an ugly bitch I'd like to see you not hold a grudge against me
Easy, If someone did that I'd punch them in the face, then continue on my way, honor resolved, no need to do something teenage girls do.
If this was over the internet, I wouldn't even bother doing anything, since none has any idea of what my family looks like, and all they are is just trying to get a rise out of me.
A grudge isn't something that you do because someone infringed upon your loved ones, a grudge is something you do because your insecure and someone popped your ego balloon.
Like I said, deal with the situation when it rears its head, then move on. Don't waste your time on such things.