*I walk into bathroom, cockroach is on sink near the turn dials to control water flow*
Me: Mom, there's a cockroach in the bathroom.
Mom: I'll get the raid.
Me: *closes door* Well, Mr. Cockroach, I'm rather sorry I've just condemned you to your death.
Mr. Cockroach: *seems to look up at me*
Me: Not a lot of people like your type, don't they?
Mr. Cockroach: *antennas wiggle*
Me: You're a good listener, Mr. Cockroach, everybody just thinks you're filthy.
Mr. Cockroach: *crawls an inch*
Me: So, you're going to die any second now. Do you like your lifestyle?
Mr. Cockroach: *turns back on me*
Me: You don't like it?
Mr. Cockroach: *starts eating something*
Me: Hard to find food, isn't it?
Mr. Cockroach: *walks to edge of sink basin and starts slipping*
Me: No, Mr. Cockroach, don't slip!
Mr. Cockroach: *slips, crawls into hole in sink (not the drain)*
