Lament to Peace

[Captain Communism]

As I move across
The fields of thought
I go and toss
Myself to areas with danger fraught.
The compulsory urges;
The lethal purges.
Determination.
Liberation.
Occupation.
Extermination.
From the final throes of power,
Killed from the core,
Comes a feeling most sour
As the world descends to war.


Thoughts? Opinions? Better Titles?

[Foofoojack]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

>Carp viewing this

Anyway, very very nice.

Good work my friend

[Rocket50]

As I move across
The fields of thought
I go and toss
Myself to areas with danger fraught.
The compulsory urges;
The lethal purges.
Determination.
Liberation.
Occupation.
Extermination.
From the final throes of power,
Killed from the core,
Comes a feeling most sour
As the world descends to war.

The flow sounds decent when read, but the idea confuses me a bit.

From the beginning, it sounds like a soldier about to enter battle 'Myself to areas with danger fraught.'

'The compulsory urges;' I assume the instinct to kill in self-defence
The lethal purges.' Weapons
Determination.'
Liberation.
Occupation.
'Extermination.' The extermination of the enemy?

, but at the end, where 'the world descends to war' totally throws me off. Isnt the world already in war?

[Captain Communism]

The flow sounds decent when read, but the idea confuses me a bit.

From the beginning, it sounds like a soldier about to enter battle 'Myself to areas with danger fraught.'

'The compulsory urges;' I assume the instinct to kill in self-defence
The lethal purges.' Weapons
Determination.'
Liberation.
Occupation.
'Extermination.' The extermination of the enemy?

, but at the end, where 'the world descends to war' totally throws me off. Isnt the world already in war?

The beginning is about human thought, actually. The determination is determination for freedom, then liberation from their (the citizens') oppressors, then occupation from those who were thought to be liberators, then extermination of those who step out of line.

The compulsory urges means bloodlust.

Lethal purges... kinda self-explanatory (Purging a country and whatnot)

As for the last part, it's about their (citizens) overthrowing of the oppressive government, and then the chaos that follows with anarchy.

[Rocket50]

The beginning is about human thought, actually. The determination is determination for freedom, then liberation from their (the citizens') oppressors, then occupation from those who were thought to be liberators, then extermination of those who step out of line.

The compulsory urges means bloodlust.

Lethal purges... kinda self-explanatory (Purging a country and whatnot)

As for the last part, it's about their (citizens) overthrowing of the oppressive government, and then the chaos that follows with anarchy.

Theres EXCEPTIONALLY little suggesting that

[Frank]

I don't believe you should receive suggestions for your works of art. Anything other than inspiration destroys art. It stops being art and instead becomes a work of satisfaction, and not of expression.