Hello, you magical forum you.
I've created this topic today to request the respected status in order to use the regular tools on this excellent server, I mean seriously, 27 ping with 12 people? Completely Insane.
About my skills as a gmodder, I've been on Gmod for years, and learned many of it's secrets. I'm a bit of a lua programmer, and I am very skilled with wire to the point where I can build stuff way out of reach (skill wise) to players who see it.
And now, I shall write a story in order to extend this post beyond what it should be.
In 1983, the U.S. government seized a part of the moon in name of science. Their goal was to create the future human supreme with a special ore that exists on the moon.
Months after failed experiments, the Russians came to discover their epic plan and decided they would blow up the ocean. Despite this action is irrelevant to the actions of the U.S. Government, The Russians came to the conclusion that this would stop them in some way. Those crazy ruskies.
The U.S. government decided to retaliate by raising taxes and printing more money. Because that's how they respond to everything. But, there was some accidental button pressing afoot. You see, dear reader, decisions are made in the U.S.A via red button pressing. In the white house, there is a string of red buttons all lined up to each other. They all activate emergency plans that, when pressed, execute a certain task in order to accomplish a certain mission.
This specific time, the president had the one simple task of pressing the red button marked "Raise taxes" and then the button marked "Inflate currency". When the time came, the first button was pressed. Then, the president decided to impress the first lady by hitting the second and final button by doing a backflip and hitting it with his head on the way down.
Unfortunately, since he had never backflipped before, he jumped and landed back first, his head hitting one of the many red buttons. The president knocked his head, and when he woke up he assumed that he did the backflip and hit the correct button, and then collapsed from the barrier he nearly crossed that made him ascend into godhood. He slapped anybody who said otherwise.
Contrary to the president's belief, he did not hit the correct button and he did not nearly become the successor to Chuck Norris. He in fact, pressed the button that was never meant to be pressed. and when that button was pressed, a horrible fate would befall mankind, and such an event will now come to pass.
Two months later, A.I programs begins to work on the horrible fate which won't be revealed now for the sake of drama.
3 years since the button, the process is nearly complete, and a special area located in a populated city is being constructed for one purpose, to train this new device.
Soon after the construct is complete, the device is finished. And is now being delivered to the construct for training, and control. Now see, dear reader, this "device" is more of a entity. It sees, it breaths, yet it feels no emotions. It has the ability to do one thing, and one thing only.
In a brown wooden crate, the subject arrives to the construct, and is released. Two tools lay in front of it, one an odd blue looking tool, the other a pistol converted with a screen and computer chips. They entity only had the knowledge to use these tool. And so he did.
He was provided sheets of metal, wooden boxes, explosive barrels, anything he desired he got. He used these things to develop contraptions. Contraptions which did amazing things, impossible things. All with a simple thought.
After days of training, days of contraptions, the creature rested.
Enter Bill Mays, a ordinary buisness man, blue suit and tie, who would mistakenly doom the universe.
Bill Mays had lived in an apartment building, and when he wasn't working he would glare out his window, looking at this peculiar lot of grass and cement next to his building. For the weeks at a time, he would stare it being empty, until one day he noticed a man in white inside the lot. This intrigued him, and then he saw things. Things that no man should see, he saw the man in white have things appear in front of him, out of nowhere! He saw the man lift the heaviest items with the slight movement of his arms and a blue beam. He saw towers of explosive barrels reaching higher than his 20 story apartment building, and then the man jumping on top of them.
He figured those weapons he used must have exceeded all technology, and could do anything. And Bill wanted them.
Days in amazement watching this man do things, Bill saw the man create a bed in front of him and began to lay down on it, resting his tools on the ground. Bill saw this as an opportunity to take the weapons for himself, and do something with his life and everybody else.
He climbed over the cement wall separating the city and our construct. He quietly inched towards the man in white and got a better look at him.
He was an older man, balding head, glasses, and had a white lab coat with a blue tie. He stopped staring at the man and quickly grabbed the two tools. He smiled a menacing smile, and laughed.
This awoke the entity and the entity saw that that this man has taken his only purpose in life. He didn't know with how to deal with it, but he wanted knew he would be a failure without his tools. He spawned a rusted iron sawblade, as wide as a horse's torso, and one orange beam later Bill was now in two pieces. Our entity had a strange sensation, he didn't know what to think. He was aware that he needed to do what came to him, and since he did this he assumed this is what he was also meant to do.
He decided to leave and fulfill his "duties".
He is still among us today, many don't pay attention to him but he is there, and he will end us. He gains followers daily, his "cult", is what you may call it, continues to grow and one day it will consume us all.
This entity, now warped and twisted from his original goal, is bent on one purpose. To terrorize and destroy mankind.
This, is the origin of the mingebag.
There, that proves my imagination, my ability to improvise, and my ability to be incredibly bored.
If elected for respected, I'll certainly prove it has been worth it reading through this post.
See you all in the funny papers.
