LAWL

A is for Accusations. You accused me of cheating while your fat ass was out making babies and expected me to help you take care of them.
B is for Bastard. You never knew your father, and that's what you were. A fucking giant piece of shit bastard.
C is for Can't. You never would, You never wanted to do shit but your excuse was that you "just can't."
D is for Dick. It was what you lacked of.
E is for Emotional. You called me a emotional for running over my cat you fucking prick.
F is for Fucked. That's what you were when I had enough of your little games.
G is for Go-Nads. Go nads go, right back into your gut when I kicked them.
H is for Hate. I just don't hate you, I loathe you.
I is for Impossible. It also stands for Me. And it was all you were concerned about....yourself.
J is for Johanna. It's what you called me in bed, and my name is certainly NOT Johanna.
K is for Kick. And kick I did right outta my fucking house.
L is for Liar. You would lie about where you went at night and I sure as hell stupidly believed you.
M is for Mom. It's who you ran to so that she could come kick my ass. She ended up beating your own ass.
N is for Nobody. It's what you are. A piece of good for nothing shit nobody.
O is for Optimus Prime. You brought your mother on that date to the movies to see Transformers while she sat between us then you watched that movie a million times while you could have been working and helping me pay for my apartment rent.
P is Pathetic. Why I dated you, I'm not sure.
Q is for Quit. It's what I did with our relationship.
R is for Restraint order. Need I say more?
S is for Slut. It was what I was apparently after 2 years of dating with you and being true. But ofcourse, men can't be sluts. Girls are the ones who are fucked.
T is for Text message. You tried to text message break up with me and only ended with the whole internet knowing your number.
U is for Unreliable. You leeched off me and only proved to be unreliable and a dime-witted asshole.
V is for Violent. You discovered a whole new side of me.
W is for Wait. It's what you told me to do when we dated and I found out you cheated. You really think I'd wait for your stupid ass?
X is for XTC. Your a druggy stupid fuck with a Burnt brain who needs rehab. They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no no no.
Y is for You. I hate You.
Z is for Zebra. I just like zebras.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

http://www.fmylife.com/ is a funny one too

Exp:

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

lololol

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

u r making fun of meh :/
u guys sux.
<insert secret here>
Eddy Sucks At ABC.