˜ Don't like my attitude? Call 1800-KISS-MY-***
˜ Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
˜ Unite against togetherness!
˜ Reality Sucks! I’m Gonna Keep On Dreamin
˜ If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...
˜ No fear! (NAME) is here!
˜ I Don’t Like The Drugs, But The Drugs Like Me
˜ Life's a *****. Be its pimp
˜ I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal!
˜ A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts ˜ Save a tree, eat a beaver
˜ By the time you read this, you've already read it
˜ Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
˜ Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times
˜ I don't curse, drink and smoke. H*ly ****! My cigarette fell in my glass of beer!
˜ Don’t steal, the government hates competition
˜ If you hate me, I love you too. It ain't my fault I’m better than you
˜ Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
˜ Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!
˜ The higher you are, the farther you fall
˜ Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
˜ When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
˜ What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!
˜ I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
˜ Not me, not now, maybe later...
˜ Life's a beach... Surf it up!
˜ Trying is the first step towards failure
˜ I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
˜ If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
˜ Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do? ˜ Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
˜ I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
˜ When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better
˜ To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems
˜ WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i'LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
˜ I avoid temptation unless I can't resist it
˜ I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours
˜ Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
˜ Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
˜ There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
˜ Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
˜ When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
˜ What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!
˜ I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
˜ Not me, not now, maybe later...
˜ Life's a beach... Surf it up!
˜ Trying is the first step towards failure
˜ I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
˜ If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
˜ Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do? ˜ Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
˜ I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
˜ When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better
˜ To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems
˜ WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i'LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
˜ I avoid temptation unless I can't resist it
˜ I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours
˜ Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
˜ Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
˜ There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
˜ Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
˜ When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
˜ Gravity always wins
˜ The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk
˜ There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
˜ I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
˜ Buy land, they have quit making it!
˜ Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts
˜ I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it
˜ Eat healthy, exercise more, still die ˜ Politicians prefer unarmed peasants
˜ Time is what keeps things from happening all at once
˜ Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition
˜ What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
˜ Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too..
˜ Opinions are like *******s... Everyone's got one, and they stink
˜ Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me
˜ Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
˜ If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
˜ I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
˜ Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children
˜ Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
˜ Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it
˜ Statistics are used by people who have no proof
˜ Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet
˜ You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
˜ If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you
˜ In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
˜ Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
˜ I like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become a Consultant ˜ Mental Health is overrated
˜ Be The Change You Wish To See
˜ All generalizations are false
˜ A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
˜ This isn't school! This is Hell with fluorescent lighting
˜ The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common
˜ Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
˜ Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already
˜ War does not determine who is right... but who is left
˜ If you are drinking to forget, pay in advance
˜ If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
˜ Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
˜ In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamphlet look so calm?
˜ I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
˜ Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
˜ 3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
˜ You can better lose a lover than love a loser
˜ I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
˜ Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of ****
˜ Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one ˜ Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
˜ Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
˜ Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
˜ We came, we saw, we drank beer
˜ Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
˜ You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
˜ Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
˜ Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
˜ Save water, drink beer
˜ Everybody makes mistakes, that’s why they put erasers on pencils
˜ Mom + Dad + beer - condom = me
˜ People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do
˜ Conserve water, drink beer
˜ The rich get richer and the poor get children
˜ Don't breed them if you can't feed them
˜ Drugs cause amnesia, and other things I can't remember
˜ Harassing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!
˜ Marriage is not like war: You sleep with the enemy
˜ Don't lead me to temptation... I can find it by myself ˜ A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge
˜ The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else
˜ Bad Spellers Untie!
˜ You must master your joystick, as a fisherman masters bait
˜ Those who know do not say, those who say do not know
˜ The road to success is always under construction
˜ I'm looking forward to regretting this
˜ 'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is
˜ Alcohol releases the inner retard in all of us...
˜ Life is like a pack of chewing-gum; I've yet to figure out why
˜ What is a friend? 1 soul in 2 bodies
˜ There are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet
˜ If you tell someone you like people, they can't resist liking you back
˜ He/She who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, who has one enemy will meet him everywhere
˜ Misfortune shows those who are not really friends
˜ Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his
˜ True friendship is a plant of slow growth
˜ A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute
˜ Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods
˜ A friend who turns into a enemy has never been a friend ˜ A faithful friend is the medicine of life
˜ Friendship needs no words....
˜ The best personal mirror is the opinion of a friend
˜ Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend
˜ Two are better than one
˜ A true friend tells you your faults in private
˜ A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else
˜ True friendship never ends
˜ Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave footprints in your heart
˜ Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty
˜ As long as forever, I will stay by your side; I’ll be your companion, your friend and your guide
˜ Friends are like condoms: they protect you when things get hard
˜ Friends are like good bras: supportive, hard to find, and close to the heart
˜ Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends
˜ Have no friends not equal to yourself
˜ It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them
˜ We will be friends until forever, just you wait see
˜ Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart
˜ A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out
˜ True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable ˜ Life without friendship is like the sky without sun
˜ Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
˜ Friendship is a special kind of love
˜ Friendship is a horizon which expands whenever we approach it
˜ The secret to friendship is being a good listener
˜ One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives
˜ Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes
˜ My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me
˜ We are all alone until we accept our need for others
˜ A true friend stabs you in the front
˜ You're unique, just like everyone else....
˜ Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
˜ Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
˜ Save a mouse, eat a *****
˜ Keep Earth clean, it's not Ur-****
˜ Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow
˜ Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns
˜ Don't do it behind the garden gate love is blind but the neighbors ain't!
˜ When you judge others you don’t define them you define yourself.. :-)
˜ The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?
˜ You're looking at perfection, and it ain't you!
˜ Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
˜ If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
˜ Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!
˜ I know that you know that I know that you think I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
˜ We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
˜ Women/Men are proof that women/men can take a joke
˜ As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard
˜ An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!
˜ What do an Ice bear have after swimming? Snowballs!
˜ Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend
˜ Girls/Boys are great, every boy/girl should own one
˜ You know it's always business doing pleasure with you
˜ If you throw rice at weddings, will asian people throw hotdogs?
˜ I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
˜ One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
˜ When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad I’m better
˜ I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!
˜ 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not…
˜ I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet ˜ English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
˜ You may laugh because I'm different but I laugh because you're all the same
˜ If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you
˜ Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!
˜ I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
˜ ScReW TwiZzLeRS!! i'LL MaKe YoUr MoUtH HaPPy!
˜ I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ;-)
˜ Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters
˜ For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
˜ I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not
˜ You and the bank own a very lovely home
˜ I would tell ya to go to hell but all dogs go to heaven
˜ I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
˜ Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
˜ You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it
˜ All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?
˜ Drinking is the answer, I don't remember the question
˜ Superman is a travestite
˜ Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
˜ Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question ˜ Lower the age of puberty!
˜ God bless Atheism
˜ I drink to make other people interesting
˜ My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex
˜ An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but ****s instead
˜ A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can't
˜ Anarchists of the world, unite!
˜ Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
˜ Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out
˜ Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
˜ On the other hand, you have different fingers
˜ Who laughs last, thinks the slowest
˜ Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good
˜ I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!
˜ I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it
˜ That money talks I don't deny... I just heard mine yell: Goodbye!!
˜ Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids
˜ I'm not a follower... I'm a leader with the same idea
˜ This is where Napolean beat his bone-a-part
˜ First law of science: don't spit into the wind ˜ I refuse to join any club that would have me for a member
˜ If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
˜ My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted
˜ If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
˜ Even hot girls have to fart
˜ I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
˜ Do you got with me get lost? I know the way
˜ It was a brave man who ate the first oyster
˜ There are three types of economists. Those who can count, and those who can't
˜ Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
˜ If my car was a horse, I would have to shoot it!
˜ An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire hius work
˜ Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks
˜ Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised
˜ I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on
˜ I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by
˜ Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door
˜ Haggis is a self cleaning meal. Leave it for a while and it will get up and walk away
˜ A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings
˜ Who's cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it? ˜ Why is it that the most unattractive people in this world insist on being nudists?
˜ I'm not a dumb blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
˜ I don't know if I'm a player. Ask one of my girlfriends
˜ Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone
˜ If guys had their period, they'd probably brag about the size of our tampons
˜ Fat people are harder to kidnap
˜ If one synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?
˜ Fat Girls are like Mopeds: fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to catch you
˜ If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
˜ I wear the pants in this house. My wife just tells me which pair to wear
˜ We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture
˜ We don't have a town drunk. We all share the responsibility
˜ Passwords are like underwear: change them often
˜ Next time wave all your fingers at me!
˜ When it comes to baldness, it's not about losing more hair, it's about getting more head
˜ The height of laziness is a man is ****ting on the beach and waiting for the tide
˜ What do they call Bush his zipper? The "U.S. Open
˜ Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1823
˜ Impotence: Nature's way of saying "no hard feelings"
˜ Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls ˜ Everyone likes a little ***, but no one likes a smart ***
˜ I like my steak so rare that when you poke it, it still says mooooo
˜ The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
˜ Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later
˜ Only in America do they buy a double cheese burger, large fries and a DIET COKE
˜ Oh man this is crazy, I hope I didn't brain my damage
˜ Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas
˜ If you don’t like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk
˜ Be a Minimalist. It's the least you can do
˜ After working here, I now realize that "Dilbert" is not a comic strip. It's a documentary
˜ She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon
˜ Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ***
˜ I never appoligize! I'm sorry, that's just not the way I am
˜ Moblie phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest
˜ Stupid statistics cost american companies 30 zillion dollars each year
˜ Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics
˜ ***, Grass, or Gas: everybody's gotta pay
˜ It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man
˜ They speak of my drinking but they never consider my thirst
˜ We'd better get outta here, I think I hear one of those silent alarms ˜ I don't like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
˜ Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
˜ I must confess, I was born at a very early age
˜ I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup
˜ I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own
˜ The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with
˜ I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
˜ I invented the cordless extension cord
˜ I can't come tonight, my tires got dizzy...
˜ Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife
˜ The shortest word for me is I, the sweetest word for me is LOVE, but the only word for me is YOU
˜ 2 good 2 be 4 gotten
˜ Ur hot as fire sharp as glass u break my heart ima kick yo ***!
˜ Nice pants, can I test the zipper?
˜ To the world you are just one person but to one person you may be the world
˜ Is that a gun in ur pocket or are you just happy to see me?
˜ Don't hate the player, hate the game
˜ Love is when u don't want to go to sleep cuz reality is beta than a dream
˜ Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk by again?
˜ I'm loved by some, hated by plenty, but wanted by many ˜ *ToUcH Me* *TeAsE Me* *cOmE On BaBY * pLeAsE Me*
˜ Can I borrow your library card because I’d like to check you out!
˜ Kisses spread germs and germs are hated.....so kiss me baby!! I'm vaccinated!
˜ Call me anytime, I won't be home
˜ I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
˜ Sigh... (name) is in love with me
˜ I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!
˜ Love is blind. I know, because you don't see me
˜ Guys are air for me, and without air I can't live
˜ Aren't you tired? You're walking for hours in my head!
˜ If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right
˜ Stupid cupid... stop picking on me!
˜ Some girls/boys have 7 boys/girls for 7 days but I have one for always
˜ Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you!
˜ Love is like war..:: Easy To Start.. Difficult To End..And.. Impossible To Forget..!!
˜ Love Is More Than Just A Kiss
˜ Be smart, be clever put me in your heart for ever
˜ Love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell
˜ I Close My Eyes And Kiss Your Lips, Then I Go To Paradise
˜ Love is a Feeling that Lasts Forever.. ˜ You can fall in the water, you can fall off a tree but the best way to fall is to fall in love with me
˜ Roses are red diaments are plastic, I am great, you are fantastic!
˜ Don't love me for fun, love me for a reason .. let the reason be love
˜ You can win me ,you can lose me but try 2 never use me
˜ Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions
˜ Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
˜ Love is a slow poison
˜ Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in
˜ Accountants are the best lovers. They can do it all night long and keep their balance!
˜ True Love is like ghosts, Everyone talks about, But very few have seen
˜ Your mama is so fat, when she sings, its over
˜ Recommended for you: "Windows For Dummies"
˜ I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode
˜ CATS HAVE NINE LIVES PEOPLE HAVE 1 MESS WITH (YOUR NAME) AND U'LL HAVE NONE!!!
˜ Just because you're stupid doesn't mean I'm lying
˜ Excuse me, but I think my karma just ran over your dogma
˜ You smell like the splashboard of an Indian urinal during mango season
˜ I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
˜ Welcome to loser Ville. Population: you
˜ It's people like you who give scum a bad name ˜ I've had fun before. This isn't it
˜ Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend/girlfriend thinks so
˜ I dream about a monster, about you!
˜ Your village called, their idiot is missing
˜ Girls/Guys are like lava lamps: good to look at, but not very bright
˜ I'd smack you but **** splatters!
˜ It's not that I am anti-social. I just don't like you
˜ Harrasing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!
˜ You're the cum your mother should have swallowed
˜ If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?
˜ Now I understand why some animals eat their young!
˜ I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?
˜ Your eyes are blue your heart is red oh darling I love you in bed
˜ I like my sugar with coffee and cream
˜ Mean people suck, nice people swallow
˜ Those who hesitate, masturbate
˜ I'm so good in sex because I practice a lot on my own
˜ Sex is like Mc Donalds ........... I`m Loving it
˜ I love women. I love every bone in their body. . . especially mine
˜ Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them
˜ Sex with one person is great. Between six it's fantastic!
˜ Don't do it behind the garden gate love is blind but the neighbours ain't!
˜ Before we make love my sweetheart takes a pain killer
˜ Bisexuality doubles your chances...
˜ If a guy masterbates, can it be considered mass murder?
˜ It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom
˜ Suk Me Till Im Dry, Fuk Me Till I Die, Puff Until Im High, Never Say Gudbyeee
˜ Having sex can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner
˜ ScReW TwiZzLeRS!! i'LL MaKe YoUr MoUtH HaPPy!
˜ Sex is just like hacking. You get in, you get out. And you pray you left nothing behind
˜ Software is like Sex. Its better when its free
˜ Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk
˜ I would read Playboy magazine more often, but my glasses keep steaming over
˜ The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less
˜ I am always looking for meaningful one night stands
˜ If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all
˜ My wife/husband is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects
˜ Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's/boyfriend's house during a power failure
˜ I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women
˜ Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one
˜ It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on
˜ Accountants are the best lovers. They can do it all night long and keep their balance!
˜ I think I could fall madly in bed with you
˜ Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ***
˜ Camouflage condoms: So they won't see you coming
˜ Support wild life - vote for an orgy!
˜ Sex is Evil, Sex is Sin, Sins are forgiven, So Let's Begin!
˜ The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty
˜ Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids
˜ Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips
˜ Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire
˜ We spend nine months trying to get out, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in
˜ Sex on TV is bad. You may fall off
˜ How many wifes/husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
˜ There is no such thing as a bisexual... just greedy people
˜ I know sex isn't love, but it's an attractive facsimile
˜ If you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand
˜ To all you virgins out there. Thanks for nothing
˜ Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions
˜ Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone
˜ Every hottie with a body needs a cutie with a bootie
˜ It's not the length, it's not the size, it's how many times you can make it rise
˜ Nice Legs! What time do they open?
˜ I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on your daughter
˜ Impotence: Nature's way of saying "no hard feelings"
˜ The three stages of sex: Tri-weekly, try weekly, and try weakly
˜ Warning! Sex may lead to child support
˜ Can I offer you some sex in exchange for.... sex?
˜ EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man
˜ No matter how you shake and dance, the last two drops go in your pants
˜ World without men: No crime and lots of happy fat women
˜ Some people say "shoot" instead of "****." They can't fool me, man. "Shoot" is "****" with two o's
˜ There's too much blood in my caffeine system
˜ A clean house is a sign of a misspent life
˜ Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?
˜ It tastes like burning
˜ Take my advice, I don't use it anyway
˜ May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!
˜ Its a shame that stupidity isn't painful
˜ I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked ˜ Love me or leave me. Hey! Where's everybody going??
˜ Life is one of those things that most of us find very difficult to avoid
˜ On the road of life, don't forget to stop and eat the roses
˜ A honest person is someone you could play checkers with over the phone
˜ If I am what I eat then I am cheap, quick, and easy
˜ Men invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain
˜ Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle
˜ We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
˜ I told my psychiatrist that everyone hated me. He told me I was being ridiculous. Everyone hadn't met me yet
˜ We are searching for rational reasons for believing in the absurd
˜ More and more of our imports come from overseas...
˜ If you're going my way, I'll walk with you.
˜ Should I smile, Cuz ur my friend, Or cry..Cuz that's all we'll ever be?
˜ No guy is worth your tears & when you find one that is, he won't make you cry.
˜ Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again....skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts!
˜ Everyone says you only fall in love once but thats not true, everytime I hear your voice I fall in love all over again
˜ If you love someone put their name in a circle not a heart, a heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever
˜ You laugh because im diffrent i laugh because you're all the same
˜ To the world your just one person but to one person you could mean the world
˜ DONT HATE ME BECASUE IM BEAUTFUL HATE ME BECAUSE YOUR MAN THINKS I AM
˜ DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME UNLESS U REALLY MEAN IT, CUZ I MIGHT DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE BELIEVE IT
˜ whats betta? a lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?
˜ A KISS BLOWN IS A KISS WASTED THE ONLY REAL KINDA KISS IS A KISS TASTED
˜ a peach is a peach a plum is a plum a kiss isnt a kiss without some tongue
˜ milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?
˜ Loving *U* is like breathing...how can i stop
˜ if yOu ReAlLy LoVe SoMeThInG sEt iT fReE, iF iT cOmEs BaCk iT's YoUrS, iF iT dOeSn'T iT wAs NeVeR MeAnT tO Be
˜ A MiLLi0n WoRDs Would Not Bring You Back, I Kn0w, BecauseI've Tried. Neither Would A Million TeaRs. I Know, BeCause I've Cried
˜ A MeMoRy LaStS 4eVeR NeVeR DoEs it DiE TrUe FrieNdS StAy toGeThEr AnD NeVer SaY GoOdByE
˜ A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes, A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever ...
˜ Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream
˜ Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back
˜ If I could be anything I would be your tear, so I could be born in your eye, live down your cheek and die on your lips
˜ If you love me like you told me please be careful with my heart you can take it; just don't break it or my world will fall apart
˜ dOn't settLe 4 the oNe yOu Can LiVe wiTh...wAit 4 tHe onE yOu Can't Live WithOut
˜ NoThiN iS mOrE pAiNfuL Then ReALiZiN He MenT eVeRyThiN 2 u,& u MenT nOtHiN 2 HiM
˜ Don't push any1 to hard, if it's meant to be, it will happen
˜ I wasn't Kissing him, I was just telling his lips a secret!!
˜ do u believe in love at first site? or should i walk by again?
˜ Roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?
˜ NØ ØNE CaN TeLL Me WhaT Tø Dø
˜ GUYS ARE LIKE ROSES WATCH OUT FOR THE PRICKS
˜ ReMeMbEr mY nAmE * ReMeMbEr My FaCe * CuZ tHeRe AiNt nO oThA hOnEy ThAt CaN tAkE mY pLaCe
˜ I'm Loved by some, Hated by many, Envied by most, Yet wanted by plenty
˜ would you catch me if i fall..do you even notice me..at all?
˜ DONT WISH UPON A STAR REACH FOR ONE
˜ God created men first, cause you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
˜ Heaven won't have me and hells afraid i'll take over!
˜ IT's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it
˜ God made mud god made dirt god made guys so girls can flirt
˜ God made coke god made pepsi god made (Name) so darn sexy
˜ All Good Girls And Boys Go To Heaven Thats Why I Wasnt Invited
˜ Don't hate the player, HATE the game!
˜ Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend
˜ The more I get to know guys, the more I like dogs
˜ Some day u'll cry for me like i cried for you ¤ Some day u'll miss me like i missed you ¤ Some day u'll need me like i needed you
˜ ¤ Some day u'll love me, but i wont luv you!
˜ Everyone who lives dies but not everyone who dies lives
˜ It's hard to tell your mind to stop lovin sumone when your heart still does...
˜ guys are like slinkies its always fun to watch them fall down the stairs
˜ *Star light ....Star bright .... where the heck is Mr. Right?*
˜ Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?"
˜ Fine guys open my eyes, smart guys open my mind but only a sweet guy can open my heart
˜ If u need space join NASA baby!!!
˜ girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!
˜ If ur nice, you can call me sweety. If ur sweet you can call me hunny. If ur hot you can call me tonight.
˜ Dream as if you'll live forever...Live as if you'll die
˜ ITS A GURLS WORLD AND GUYS JUST LIVE IN IT!
˜ A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey!
˜ If love isnt a game, then why are there so many players?
˜ ***everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge***
˜ Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile
˜ I'm like a butterfly-pretty 2c- hard 2 catch!
˜ ~*~One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions~*~
˜ *You can fall from the sky* *You can fall from a tree* *But the best way to fall* *Is in love with me*
˜ I'M ThReW W/ GuYz,ThEy AlL tElL LieS,ThEy BrAkE uR <3 n MaKe U CrY,LuViN gUyZ iS sUcH a SiN,hEy ChEcK tHaT gUy WhO jUs WaLkEd In
˜ It's not the size of the dog, It's the size of the fight in the dog!
˜ Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering where the heck is my ceiling!
˜ only little boys who call themselves men say I love you, and don't mean it.
˜ Some times ur mind doesnt want u 2 be in love..but deep down u know you are....
˜ Do I Look like a grocery item to you?¿?¿? I see you checking me out!!
˜ If You Luv Me... Let Me Know... If You Don't... Then Let Me Go...
˜ *::--;LoVe iZ LiKe QuiCkSanD-dA DeEpEr u FaLL iN iT ThA HaRdA iT iZ 2 GeT OuT;--::*
˜ Ur HuGz N KiSsEz R LiKe ThE StArZ U LiTe Up mY LiFe wHeN tHiNgZ gEt DaRk
˜ Did u fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your way down!
˜ *ThEy SaY tRuE lOvE hiDeS bEhiNd eVeRy CoRnEr...I mUsT bE wALkiNg iN CiRcLeS!!!*
˜ what's the difference between boy's soccer and girl's soccer? oh ya girl's make it look better!!
˜ Love is like sand, if ya hold on to it too tight.. It might slip away~!
˜ ¨*:·.PeOpLe ArE gUnA tALk BoUt u SpEcIaLlY wHeN tHeY eNvY u N tHe LiFe U LiVe...lEt ThEm..U aFfEcTeD tHeIr LiVeS...tHeY dIdNt AfFeCt UrS...·:*
˜ Did the sun just come out or did you just smile at me?
˜ Give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass of milk
˜ *I wAnTeD 2 KiLL dA sExiEsT PeRsOn ALiVe ThEn I rELiZeD....oHh Ya! SuCiCiDeZ a CriMe!*
˜ Well if i called the wrong number, whyd you answer?
˜ There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
˜ Im an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!
˜ When I look at you my heart skips 1 beat but later that beat could mean a life time of tears wasted on some thing i knew i could never have!
˜ an angel is what i was meant to be thats why bein sweet come so naturally!
˜ Friends r like stars they come and go but da 1's dat stay r the 1's that glow
˜ ~If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true, but I am only human, Just a girl who's loving you~
˜ How can you be friends with someone if everytime you look at them, it makes you want them even more?
˜ *I wish I may, I mish I might, be the one you wish for tonite*
˜ "it's quality not quantity"
˜ You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back
˜ You know your in love when the hardest thing to say is goodbye.
˜ you used to make me smile, you used to make me laugh, but now your attitude makes me want to yak.
˜ Don't be a guy, The world is full of guys.Be a MAN
˜ Love is ... Running into his arms, Colliding with his heart, And exploding into his soul.
˜ 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep
˜ I know my calculouse it says U+ME=US
˜ FOR ALL OF YOU WHO TALK ABOUT ME THANKS FOR MAKING ME THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD!
˜ When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself, why isn't he taken?
˜ My heart was taken by you...breaken by you...and now it is in pieces because of you
˜ guys r pigs ...... n of course i always get the runt
˜ Every girl wants one guy to meet all her needs, while every guy wants all the girls to meet his one need.
˜ I can only please one person per day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
˜ A star fell from the sky, and I knew I cought it... then when I fell for you where were you to catch me?
˜ Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
˜ If love was a law i would be in prison for the rest of my life
˜ *U see, U like, U try, U fail...-mEaNwHiLe-...I see, I like, I want, I get!*
˜ Don't call me a GODDESS, Don't call me a QUEEN, Just call me the cutest PRINCESS you've ever seen!
˜ *spiteful words hurt ur feelings but silence breaks ur heart*
˜ *If The Only Possible Way We Can Be Together Is In My Dreams...Then I'll Sleep Forever*
˜ Love is like falling down... in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever<3
˜ ..WhEn A gUrL LoVeZ a GuY.. ..ThE SwEeTeSt ThiNg iN ThE wOrLd.. ..iS 2 HeAr HiM AdMiT ThAt He TrEaSuReZ hEr..
˜ If lovin' u is wrong- I don't want 2 be right
˜ I dropped a tear in the ocean- when I find it is the day I'll stop loving you
˜ Im sweet like suger, soft like suade, but unlike you i i never get played
˜ I AM JUST A GIRL. STANDING INFRONT OF A BOY ASKING HIM TO LOVE ME!
˜ *~*Be MorE CsoncerneD AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR ReputationN BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoU ReputaioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!*~*
˜ I'm §uGaR & §piCe & EvErYtHiNg N¡Ce... b4 yOu Me§§ w/ Me... yOu ße§t ThiNk twiCe
˜ Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it'll crush, hold it too loose, it'll fly
Some Crap
"FUNNY SAYINGS YOU KNOW"
[spoiler]zomg a peanut[/spoiler]Spoiler (http://www.meatspin.com) (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (http://www.meatspin.com) (click to show/hide)
HOLY SHIT KRASHER STOP WITH THE GAYNESS!!!Dude Im just playin the game
DO NOT KLICK THAT LINK!!!
Dude Im just playin the game
The game you just lost
LOL
Dude im actually starting to believe you are gay...you do not want that...do you? :-\Im bisexual, Dominant Straight
Im bisexual, Dominant Straight
and I don't like that link either xD
bi...bisexual? ???you never knew? Don't worry dude I have a gf :laugh:
you never knew? Don't worry dude I have a gf :laugh:
OH GOOD! You had me worried there :laugh:lmfao..
When you think of Krasher, you are thinking in Frank:o TWINZ !
Im bisexual, Dominant Straighti meant dat
and I don't like that link either xD
(http://madpwnage.net/images/lolwut.jpg)
i meant dat
"How'd I... H4X!"
LOL
lol
Shit Happens
I rather be pissed off than pissed on
That will take care of you, you son of a bitch.
When asked why he went for two despite a 36-point lead against Michigan, Woody Hayes quipped, "Because I couldn't go for three."
If anybody congratulates you, you kick them in the shin, unless it's an old lady over 80.
There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you
Anything easy ain't worth a damn!
puppies ftw.
Some more quotes.
Stay in drugs and don't do school!
I got people to do and places to see...
HOLY SHIT A FLYING MUSHROOM!
SHUT UP!!Noez.if u dun liek , suck it up women. :/
STICK TO THE PUPPIES AND KITTENS!!!!
Noez.if u dun liek , suck it up women. :/
I NO WOMAN I A MAN!!
(http://www.austinchronicle.com/binary/f4b4/Cowboy_Bear.jpg)
wth is he grabbing? o.0
His
(http://fashionistaideas.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/black-cock-poster.jpg)
Guess =P
Guess =P
whaaat?
I like guess jeans and guess brand of clothing. Also forever 21.
I like guess shirts
their jeans hug my ass and that's how jeans are supposed to be.
Lul my post got posted like 10 mins after I posted it lulwtf.
Can I hug your ass? =O
Lul jking =P I'll just try hugging my own ass! RAWR
LOL good luck with that
You know you look like a blonde boxxy ;D
what's boxxy
:o Im not sure... but heres pics
(http://villagethinker.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/boxxy.jpg)
(http://sexygarbage.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/boxxy.jpg)
(http://besteirolbr.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/boxxy.jpg)
I do not look like her..>:(
>:(
You do a little...
Eww. lol
lol yeah I photoshop my own stuff.
lol yeah I photoshop my own stuff.I'm so cool, I photoshop abs on photos of me so I look tough.
I'm so cool, I photoshop abs on photos of me so I look tough.(http://www.steamfriends.com/images/orly.jpg)
(http://www.steamfriends.com/images/orly.jpg)
Im bisexual, Dominant Straight
and I don't like that link either xD
(http://madpwnage.net/images/lolwut.jpg)
LIKE THE TITLE
Here I'll start...
You see the glass as half empty. I see the glass and say hey, who drank my Dr. Pepper?
:laugh:
I'm sure I can think of more am just 2 lazy... 8)
I dont get it...