Black MesaTram RideThis docter is qualified...Anomalous materialsMan, that's a mouthfulGorden Freeman is your nameComplex science is your game.The scientist at the front desk, he tells you where to go.Ignore the fact that you're a muteAnd grab your HEV suit...Make your way down to the lab, the scientist explain.It's too easy, so it seems...Push the thing into the beam...OH DEAR FUCKING GOD
IT'S
A
RESONANCE
CASCADE!!!!!!!!!!!
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
We know it wasn't your fault that Black Mesa got fucked up.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.The wrong place at the wrong time...
But at least you survived.
Little screaming, crawling things
Jumping over everything...
Latching onto people's faces.
WTF?
Grab onto the closest thing
Wind it up and take a swing.
Looks as though you got a crowbar to deal with these pest.
Squealing, energetic dogs,
Things with sticky hanging tongues,
Monsters shooting green sludge,
And don't forget the Vortigaunts.
Zombies with sharp claws,
A giant blue robot,
OH THANK GOD
THE MILITARY!
Wait...
They're shooting at us.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
We know it's unfair
That the Army doesn't care.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
Cause you still kicked their asses...
Even with those glasses.
Travel to outer space,
Kick ass for the human race!
Fighting with a giant fetus to save our planet, Earth.
Victorious, there you stand...
Who the hell is G-Man? :S
Now if you don't want to die...
For him you have to work.
Fuck, another train ride...
You're no longer qualified.
Wearing dirty clothing and stinking of Merlot.
Where is City 17?
And who is this "Dr. Breen"?
And guys with stun batons...
So much you don't know.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
You never seem to know much
But it doesn't stop us.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
You're always in a mess...
But you're still the best!
Running from the Combine...
Your life is now on the line.
Jumping on the rooftops, somehow sneaking past.
They've cornered you...
COMBAT STANCE!
Rescued by Alyx Vance...
Probably a lesbian,
But DAMN, that's a nice ass.
Takes you to the secret lab
You meet Lamarr the headcrab.
Start it up, run the test,
Shit goes wrong.
Who'd have guessed?
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
You got a P.H.D.
In badassery.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
Went to MIT
For asskicking.
Nova Prospekt, ant lions,
RPGs, and air raid sirens,
Make your way to the Citadel to kill that balding fuck.
Hovercrafts, Revenholm.
Makeshift buggies go offroad,
Dr. Kleiner, zombie miners,
Freeman's got no luck.
Finally did the deed
Killed that old geezer Breen.
You and Alyx celebrate a victory well-earned.
Wait a minute, WTF?!
Time apparently is stuck...
G-Man is all I see...
IS THIS FUCKER STALKING ME?!
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
Yes, your life is shitty.
You just flattened a city. D:
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
You and your crowbar
Have travelled long and far.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
We know it wasn't your fault that the world got fucked up.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
The wrong place at the wrong time...
But at least you survived.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
You never seem to know much
But it doesn't stop us.
We love you, Dr. Freeman.
You're always in a mess...
But you're still the best!
WWe love you, Dr. Freeman.
You got a P.H.D.
In badassery.
