Your Friend is probably a Redneck if...
1. His home has more miles on it than your car.
2. His mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
3. He honestly thinks that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
4. He thinks the Mountain Men in the movie "Deliverance" were just "misunderstood".
5. He thinks a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
6. He has a rag for a gas cap on his service van.
7. His Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
8. He has lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
9. He gets Christmas cards from Redman.
10. He was fired from a construction job because of his appearance.
Your friend is a probably from Wisconsin
1. He had a polka band instead of a string quartet at his wedding reception.
2. He owns a cheese-head or -necktie. And has worn it in public. At Lambeau Field or Milwaukee County Stadium.
3. He says "Ja hey dere once, eh?" more than once a day.
4. He gets offended by "Sven and Olie" jokes.
5. He went to Sheboygan for his honeymoon.
6. His favorite food is hotdish.
7. He flew his flag at half mast for a week after the great Oscar Meyer fire of '91.
8. "Second Week in Deer Camp" brings a tear to his eye.
9. He knows more than 17 different ways to cook brats.
10. He has a gnome or a bathroom appliance in his front yard.
11. He has ever tipped a cow. When sober.
12. He has ever bowled more than 10 consecutive games.
13. He has memorized every line from the movie "Strange Brew."
14. His family pet is named "Bossie".
15. He has ever had a date with Ms. Dairyland 19xx.
16. He had his wedding reception at a bowling alley.
17. Laverne and Shirley are his all-time heros.
18. He seldom can remember the week after Oktoberfest.
19. He has ordered pizza with sauerkraut on it (more than once.)
