Finally came home, excited to go and do things again
go and hang out with friends
fucking not be sitting alone in a room again.
be with my family, who i've missed so much...
...but no one wants to hang out.
i ask people
they say "well i've gotta..." or "i'm not here (out of town)" or just fucking ignore me
I try to go out and be alone in a new place
fucking boring as being at home.
which didn't feel like home, since my parents are going through a divorce.
what felt like FOREVER i waited.....
for nothing
case in point;
a friend of mine, what i thought was a damn good one at that, was drunk for the first time last night (and no, i'm not trying to date her.)
she decided that she would talk to me on facebook
i have been trying since i got home to get her to go to the laser tag battle that she told me she could beat me at.
(i just want to have fun with a friend)
so when she was drunk, i inception'd her ass, then stayed up all night talking to her so she didn't "feel alone" (which she was complaining about)
and then today once she is capable of thought, we start making plans to go hang out
....
and i see another of her posts, saying something along the lines of "i learned that i should not talk to people when i'm drunk".
which at 3:00 am, was me.
and then a response to another post of hers saying something about laser tag while relating to discussion of being sucked into things.
so I said my mom told me i couldn't go
blamed it on the divorce
and cancelled the fucking plan. i guess thats just what i get for fucking trying.
again.
and again.
so now i realize that i just get to sit here
for who the fuck knows how long
cause doing fun things alone is just depressing as fuck.
so i've decided that no matter how or what i try, i am doomed to be
tl;dr
