So today, our english teacher assigns us a character analysis on Odysseus from The Odyssey, and the rough draft is due tomorrow.
Giamblanco, Julian
Mrs. Boortz
English 9 Honors Period 2
November 8, 2010
Over all the hundreds of years of undying Greek culture, Homer’s The Odyssey stands out as a powerful story of loyalty, determination, strategery, and the undeniable danger of hubris. The tale describes the adventures of a superhero-esque man named Odysseus who in my opinion,
was a pretty cool guy. Not just that, he blinded a Cyclops named Polyphemus with a giant spike. Could you do that even in your wildest dreams? I didn’t think so. This essay doesn’t have a purpose in life, because it can’t love or experience the wonder of sentient emotion. However, the dwindling flame of life that this paper expresses will in a sense, give another fraction of meaning to a story that was written about 2,800 years ago, likely under the influence of extremely powerful antidepressants that caused Homer to deny his own existence and replace it with his imagination of a superhero and his infidelity over a 10-year journey.
Now for being someone that cheated on his wife with a goddess on a deserted island, he stuck around pretty well. When all his men were drugged into a stupor (Morale obviously must have been low because of their blatant physical inability to produce serotonin), Odysseus went and tied them up and dragged them back to the ship. Although unkind, I’m sure that they later thanked him gratefully for not letting them get stoned the rest of their lives on some lotus plant and stop paying child support. In this way, Homer is expressing that our current society (Homer, although blind, could see into the future, look it up) needs to step up and pay for our illegitimate children. If that wasn’t enough, Scylla and Charybdis were infamous for having stolen
forty cakes from the Greeks. That’s as many as
four tens. And that’s terrible.
tl;dr I'm writing a god-awful essay because I hate my english teacher.
