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I feel lost in my life.

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Yellow Killer:
I don't know whats happening with my life anymore. I feel like I'm under a rock of shit. People that I've had relationships with before don't want to talk with me that much anymore. There were some girls that I liked and I wanted to date, but I couldn't because of my shyness/awkwardness. Funny to mention that since I've had shy/socially awkward moments happened to me. There were even some moments I've had with females that looked cringey. I've only dated one girl in my life but the relationship lasted for 2 months and she didn't even care about me. I don't know what I want to grow up as well. Before, I wanted to become a video game designer but now I feel that was beyond what I could accomplish. I have some thoughts however about being a video game 3D modeler/level designer but at the same time, I'm starting to develop doubts about that. I haven't applied to any colleges since I don't know what college to head to. I currently have decent grades in high school but at times, I act/feel stupid. I don't have a job because of my procrastination. And almost every weekend, I'm in a vicious cycle of waking up, gaming, napping, procrastinating, eating, and sleeping. I like being a pc gamer and all but I feel that I need more outside interaction with others. I don't know if I'm overreacting too much about all this and if this is a normal stage for some teens but I want to turn my life around before it gets worse, however I don't know where to start.

○ Μαρία ○:

--- Quote from: Yellow Killer on November 09, 2014, 09:52:14 AM ---I don't know whats happening with my life anymore. I feel like I'm under a rock of shit. People that I've had relationships with before don't want to talk with me that much anymore. There were some girls that I liked and I wanted to date, but I couldn't because of my shyness/awkwardness. Funny to mention that since I've had shy/socially awkward moments happened to me. There were even some moments I've had with females that looked cringey. I've only dated one girl in my life but the relationship lasted for 2 months and she didn't even care about me. I don't know what I want to grow up as well. Before, I wanted to become a video game designer but now I feel that was beyond what I could accomplish. I have some thoughts however about being a video game 3D modeler/level designer but at the same time, I'm starting to develop doubts about that. I haven't applied to any colleges since I don't know what college to head to. I currently have decent grades in high school but at times, I act/feel stupid. I don't have a job because of my procrastination. And almost every weekend, I'm in a vicious cycle of waking up, gaming, napping, procrastinating, eating, and sleeping. I like being a pc gamer and all but I feel that I need more outside interaction with others. I don't know if I'm overreacting too much about all this and if this is a normal stage for some teens but I want to turn my life around before it gets worse, however I don't know where to start.

--- End quote ---

Yellow, a lot of people go through stages like this in their life. Moments where they feel lost, or even like no one cares. Nothing I say or anyone says can change who you are though, it's something you have to realize and change for yourself. I want you to know, that since I've met you and your brother in person I've never forgotten about you, I don't ever stop thinking about you. Everyone I have ever met, everyone holds a special place in my heart, why? Because I know what it feels like to be alone, to feel like nothing you do matters, to be lost. I told myself that for as long as I lived I would always remember every person I met, so that maybe they could feel in their hearts that there is always someone who cared. It breaks my heart, to see people that I care about go through hard times, because I know I can't change it, I can't fix it, all I can do is talk to you and give you advice. However sometimes that's all people need.

Sometimes all people need is to know someone out there is thinking about them, someone out there is rooting for them. Everyone on this Earth has a purpose Yellow, and maybe you haven't found that purpose for yourself yet, but I know some day you will. Have confidence in the things you do, because everything you do is worth it, everything you put forth the effort to do matters. Don't let people talk down to you and especially don't let yourself talk down to you. You are amazing, you were made amazing, and there is so much just you could do. Over the years I have learned humans are capable of being extremely hateful and can cause so much pain, but they can also cause so much happiness and change. Don't feel like you're alone, because you're not and if you ever feel down or like life is just tearing you apart, feel free to talk to me I will lend you my ear. And please for the love of God don't ever feel like your only choice is suicide. I know you didn't mention suicide but talk like this sometimes can lead to it. There is always a way out, always hope no matter what you make think, so don't think that's the only option. I'm here for you man.

Tiger Guy:
This is happening to me in college. I don't really have anything to do or anyone to talk to. I just go there and then go home.

The good thing about college is that you can always change majors. I was thinking about being in Computer Science, but lately I'm discovering that I really don't want to do that. I'm going to change my major sometime soon, probably somewhere in business, or something where I can still get an Associates degree in Science. You can always take an entry Comp Sci class, and if you don't like it, just change majors then.

I stayed home every weekend until senior year, when I actually had friends that I hung out with outside of school. I don't know how many friends you have in school, but I guess you should try to hang out with them more often. I know that staying home seems more appealing, but sometimes you should go out, you might have a great time. If you're there and truly DO NOT want to be there, just make up an excuse about your mom wanting you home now for some reason.

Also, what friends you have in high school will break away once college starts, unless you all go to the same college. If the college you go to has a video game club, or any other club you're interested in, you should at least go to a meeting. Most of the people in there, might be autists, but there's probably some people that you like. If you don't try to make friends in college, you'll be alone, unless if you turn into a mildly attractive girl.

ALSO, while people like Marie can be there for you, in the end, you have to be there for yourself. They can't be there all the time. I don't know shit about dating, but really you should find someone that likes you as much as you like them. Dumping a lot of care into a person that really doesn't give a shit about you is really draining, so you should cut those thots off ASAP.

Yellow Killer:

--- Quote from: ○ Marie ○ on November 09, 2014, 10:29:42 AM ---Yellow, a lot of people go through stages like this in their life. Moments where they feel lost, or even like no one cares. Nothing I say or anyone says can change who you are though, it's something you have to realize and change for yourself. I want you to know, that since I've met you and your brother in person I've never forgotten about you, I don't ever stop thinking about you. Everyone I have ever met, everyone holds a special place in my heart, why? Because I know what it feels like to be alone, to feel like nothing you do matters, to be lost. I told myself that for as long as I lived I would always remember every person I met, so that maybe they could feel in their hearts that there is always someone who cared. It breaks my heart, to see people that I care about go through hard times, because I know I can't change it, I can't fix it, all I can do is talk to you and give you advice. However sometimes that's all people need.

Sometimes all people need is to know someone out there is thinking about them, someone out there is rooting for them. Everyone on this Earth has a purpose Yellow, and maybe you haven't found that purpose for yourself yet, but I know some day you will. Have confidence in the things you do, because everything you do is worth it, everything you put forth the effort to do matters. Don't let people talk down to you and especially don't let yourself talk down to you. You are amazing, you were made amazing, and there is so much just you could do. Over the years I have learned humans are capable of being extremely hateful and can cause so much pain, but they can also cause so much happiness and change. Don't feel like you're alone, because you're not and if you ever feel down or like life is just tearing you apart, feel free to talk to me I will lend you my ear. And please for the love of God don't ever feel like your only choice is suicide. I know you didn't mention suicide but talk like this sometimes can lead to it. There is always a way out, always hope no matter what you make think, so don't think that's the only option. I'm here for you man.

--- End quote ---
I feel glad and it makes me happy that you have a special place in your heart for me even if we don't talk as often which I want to change. I want to find a purpose for my life that is able make me comfortable. Right now at the moment with all these negative thoughts that popped up in my mind, it's a challenge for me. However, I'm not going to choose suicide as an option. I don't want to see my family and friends like you grieve over my death due to a cloud of depression. I know I can fix this but I want to figure out how. But I want to say thank you for being here for me.

Ἆxule:
I was in a similar situation during my Freshman and Sophomore year in high school. I had a lot of acne and I never socialized with anyone, so I was pretty awkward and quiet majority of those two years. My life during those two years would literally consist of me waking, going to school, finishing all of my homework before or during class, and then go home and play games for hours straight. I literally don't remember anything from those two years because there wasn't really anything to remember other than games. I regret it, yeah, but one thing I've learned to move on from things like that is taking it as a lesson and looking at it as a good thing. During Junior year, I committed to a program called International Baccalaureate (IB) and I was pretty much saw the same people every single day for two years. It was these two years where I blossomed because of the amazing friends and lessons I had during these two years. Despite becoming more social, finding someone who I love very much and have been happily with for almost two years now, and ultimately becoming more confident, I still struggled (and still sort of do) with gaming. I wish I could tell you exactly what you have to do to quit gaming, but I still don't really know. What worked for me though was I quit playing for like a month straight. Fortunately I had help because it was during that time I went to Ireland for a couple of weeks which was long enough to go through withdrawals and not feel this strong urge to play anymore.

As for what you want to do in life, pursue being a video game designer. However, don't have that be your only goal. A great friend of my dad who deals with programming satellites and robots told me that the video game industry is a lot like the rockstar industry of music. When he told me that, I shifted my interests from wanting to program video games to wanting to deal with security for the government. Deep down inside, I still like the idea of programming for video games, and there's always a possibility that I may still do that, but I'm not depending on that being my only goal for a career. As for college, I would consider talking to someone who deals with that at your school. My school had someone who's only job was to help kids find colleges that fit their needs and expectations as well as find them ways to pay for it. If you're able to consult with them, I'm sure they can point you in the right direction, or at the very least, help you realize what you want.

I would also consider going to the gym. However, don't go with the goal of becoming this really tick and handsome guy, because that will take time. Instead, go for the other many benefits working out has to offer. It makes you more confident, helps relieve stress, it makes you feel like you're actually doing something productive with your life, and will ultimately help you in all aspects of your life. It sucks going at first because you see everyone who has every muscle on their body defined, but you just have to remember that everyone had to start somewhere and that they used to be in a similar situation. Go online and watch videos and research on what to eat, what to do, and everything else that you would need to know to workout successfully. With time, you'll see that your shyness will slowly get better, your mental attitude with get more healthy, and you'll be a lot more confident with who you are.

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