The complication about a lot of the advice people are giving me on this - here or otherwise - is that it is based off of their own experiences [not bad at all], but too much it seems to gives an impression of "X is the only way it can/does happen, so for it to be Y other possibility is absurd" in spite of all the evidence that says these are abnormal circumstances, in spite of a lot of people who are close to both these people seeing the EXACT same things I see, the exact same problems I see, and express the same concerns I have. Do NOT get me wrong... I agree - to let it consume is unhealthy, and to hurt the one I wish to help, and care dearly about would be beyond retarded... but this isn't a case of a broke-up-and-going-through-withdrawal, and I'd appreciate it if people look past that being the only possibility [don't make me break out the set theory, and other mathematical shit I've learned in the course of my studies in computer science 
]. I have been looking at other people dating wise, btw, and have been expending more time goofing about with friends, and on my studies, so that's good]
So hows the fishing in the river denile? I heard its pretty good this time of year.
It's not that I dont beleive its possible that you somehow managed to find a sitation where a couple is ok with an ex-boyfreind prying into and meddling with their relationship.
I am just a fan of occams razor. It just seems much more likely you are going through cognative dissonance, and are inventing your own logic to rationalize what is going on.
Edit:
I am not speaking from experience of being in your situation, I am speaking from the experience of being freinds with a girl with someone that has acted similarly towards her as you have been acting towards your ex.
The only way that we were able to convince him that his attention was unwanted, after filing a restraining order, was to pretty much run full time iterception to keep him from interacting with her.
Im not saying that what you are doing is as extreme as this. but it always makes sense in your head even if it is batshit crazy.
I'm sorry ive been so harsh on this, but it is rather frustraiting having an argument with someone who wont even cosider your point even if you had the worlds greatest scientists review your dissertation on the subject.
