.:`=-~rANdOm~`-=:. Game Servers

Restricted (Read Only) => Übermensch Members => Topic started by: Devie on March 01, 2011, 05:07:58 PM

Title: face fucking book.
Post by: Devie on March 01, 2011, 05:07:58 PM
those stupid like pages on face fucking book that are sometimes funny.


Quote
American kid: "You're from the UK? Ohhh cool, So do you have tea with the Queen?".
British kid: "Do you like, go to mcdonalds with Obama?".

Quote
In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:30.
^ that is so fucking true.

Quote
Kid : Mom can I wear mini-skirt today ?
Mom : No !
Kid : Can I wear lipstick?
Mom : No !
Kid : Can I wear high heels ?
...Mom : No !
Kid : But mom! I'm 18 years old !
Mom : I know John , I know ...


Quote
Teacher: Is this made by humans or nature?
Me: It's man-made.
Teacher: NO! Never say 'man-made!" Women make things too...
Me: Like, sandwiches?
^ LOL'd


Quote
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.


Quote
*girl look's at her moms drivers license*
Girl: Mom, i know why dad left you!
mom: Oh yeah, why?
Girl: Because you got an F in sex.

Quote
Teacher: What's the plural form of ox?
Student: Oxes?
Teacher: Oxen.
Student: Ohhh.
Teacher: What's the plural form of box?
Student: Boxen?
Teacher: ...


Quote
*Texting dad*
You: Hey dad, can I get some money for some coke?
Dad: Sure... is $60 enough?
You: Dad. It's $1.25.
Dad: Wow, the price sure went down from when I was a kid...
You: DAD! COCA-COLA?
Dad: Oh...


Quote
that awkward moment when you have 238793278934710974091273912748918q8394789347 tabs open and you can’t figure out which one the music is coming from.
sabb..


Quote
"DAD DAD!!!!! COME HERE
QUICK! OH DEAR GOD PLEASE COME!!!"
"WHAT!? WHO'S HURT!!"
"no one, there's a spider...please kill it"
lawl I do this with proudly


Quote
a mother walks into her sons room and glares
mum: I smell weed, have you been smoking?
son: Mum I'm shocked, how do you know what weed smells like?!?!!?!
mum:..... -_-' damn

k no more funny ones. I'll put up more funny ones cuz it's obviously deteriorating ._.
But I'll put more up when I find :D
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Frank on March 01, 2011, 05:18:57 PM
lulululululullululul @ the school ones
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Supertoaster on March 01, 2011, 05:19:27 PM
I saw a lot of those on the art of trolling.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Foofoojack on March 01, 2011, 05:24:02 PM
Quote
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

I LOLD
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: ursus on March 01, 2011, 05:28:49 PM
>send friend request
>a ride denied
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Jman on March 01, 2011, 05:53:17 PM
>send friend request
>a ride denied

ikr  :idk:
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Sabb on March 01, 2011, 06:01:37 PM
sabb..
Ohaidar.

Also, fifth one's the best.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Don on March 02, 2011, 12:44:10 AM
>send friend request
>a ride denied
>don't send friend request
>denied anyway
>god damnit
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Deacon on March 02, 2011, 02:20:42 AM
Shit happens to me

>friend request received
>>send message "do I know you"
>we were best friends for years.........
>>"...I'm sorry I don't know you"
>oh. Ok.
>>I feel like shit.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: » Magic « on March 02, 2011, 09:06:39 AM
I gave up with liking the shit I don't actually like now, It just gets annoying =.=
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Devie on March 08, 2011, 09:25:37 PM
Quote
Time spent → in the shower;
25% -- Daydreaming.
25% -- Building up courage to turn off water and step into cold air.
20% -- Turing in a circle to maintain even hot water distribution.
10% -- Catching water in your mouth and spitting it out.
10% -- Contemplating the hardest decisions of life.
7% -- Washing hair.
3% -- Washing other body parts.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: coolzeldad on March 08, 2011, 10:58:45 PM
Time spent → in the shower;
49% -- Daydreaming.
48% -- Turing in a circle to maintain even hot water distribution.
2% -- Washing hair.
1% -- Washing other body parts.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Jman on March 08, 2011, 11:11:11 PM
Time spent → in the shower;
25% -- Standing still and just letting the water warm up. I hate fkn cold showers so I just stand there and wait for it.

25% -- Building up courage to turn off water and step into cold air. One thing I hate more than going into a cold shower, getting out of a warm shower.

25% -- Turing in a circle to maintain even hot water distribution. Oh man I just stand there doing barrel rolls.

10% -- Catching water in your mouth and spitting it out. Omg I thought I was the only one who did this. Idk why, but it's a habit.

10% -- Contemplating the hardest decisions of life. I feel like the noise/feel of water helps thinking process.

4% -- Washing hair. Short hair so not much needed to clean it lol.

1% -- Washing other body parts. We don't want a dirty pingas  :trollface:
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Frank on March 08, 2011, 11:35:46 PM
lolololololololololol

all those shits, them be da truth
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Cheesicle on March 09, 2011, 04:32:04 AM
"I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question"
"No, Microsoft Word, I DIDN'T spell my last name wrong"
"Saying 'What' but 1 second later realizing what they said"
"Deleting everything you typed because you saw the other person was typing"
"The teacher says work with a partner, I look at my friend, we both nod."

FUCKING LOL'D.







I also have 55 pages of cheese liked on my profile :>
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Don on March 09, 2011, 04:33:42 AM
"I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question"
"Saying 'What' but 1 second later realizing what they said"
Dayum, these two things created so many awkward situations in my life.

Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Cheesicle on March 09, 2011, 04:34:18 AM
Dayum, these two things created so many awkward situations in my life.

I know right.. LOL
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Sabb on March 09, 2011, 12:42:34 PM
"I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question"
"No, Microsoft Word, I DIDN'T spell my last name wrong"
"Saying 'What' but 1 second later realizing what they said"
"Deleting everything you typed because you saw the other person was typing"
"The teacher says work with a partner, I look at my friend, we both nod."

FUCKING LOL'D.







I also have 55 pages of cheese liked on my profile :>
I don't get it.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: » Magic « on March 09, 2011, 02:31:19 PM
I don't get it.

same
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Cheesicle on March 09, 2011, 04:38:24 PM
I take it those situations never happened to you guys
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Sabb on March 09, 2011, 05:21:16 PM
I take it those situations never happened to you guys
Sure they did, I just didn't find them funny? ._.
And last two I don't see why they are there lol.
Seemed random?
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Tomcat on March 09, 2011, 07:18:54 PM
Yall are whimps when it comes to gettin out of the shower

Sometimes its to warm so i run outside at night here

-5 F FTW
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Devie on March 09, 2011, 07:32:10 PM
Yall are whimps when it comes to gettin out of the shower

Sometimes its to warm so i run outside at night here

-5 F FTW

I bet your balls go up inside you soooo far LOL
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Deathie on March 09, 2011, 08:03:01 PM
I bet your balls go up inside you soooo far LOL

And that, my friends, is how Tomcat preformed a sex change operation on himself to become










Tomkitty.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Jman on March 10, 2011, 03:29:22 AM
I bet your balls go up inside you soooo far LOL


And now a message from our sponsor, Betsy:

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Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: » Magic « on March 10, 2011, 10:10:22 AM
Yall are whimps when it comes to gettin out of the shower

Sometimes its to warm so i run outside at night here

-5 F FTW

-10C FTW
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Shawn on March 10, 2011, 10:36:56 AM
I take it those situations never happened to you guys

All of those has happened to me...

And for the shower you all need new plumming... takes like 3 seconds for my water to heat up... and i only use pure hot water so when i get out of the shower the whole bathroom is boiling like a sauna so i have no problems Lol
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Tiger Guy on March 10, 2011, 06:32:25 PM
I hate that feeling when its really cold outside and my dick is shriveled and cold as shit.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: ursus on March 10, 2011, 06:35:14 PM
I hate that feeling when its really cold outside and my dick is shriveled and cold as shit.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Cheesicle on March 10, 2011, 07:02:19 PM
^^ That happens after you swim too lol
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Foofoojack on March 10, 2011, 08:18:56 PM
^^ That happens after you swim too lol

Nah, mine enlarges from all the bitches on my cock.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Deacon on March 10, 2011, 09:45:02 PM
Nah, mine enlarges from all the bitches on my cock.

well aren't you cool.
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Shawn on March 12, 2011, 08:46:59 PM
_____ Is now friends with _____.


"Wait, WTF? How do they no eachother?!"


"OH MY GOD GUYS 2011 IS 2+0+1+1 IS 4, 4 TIMES 2011 IS 8044, 2012 IS 2+0+1+2 IS 5, 5 TIMES 2012 IS 10060! 10060 MINUS 8044 IS 2016! IT'S MARCH NEXT MONTH, WHICH IS 4! 2016 MINUS 4 IS 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like if you're sick of this number conspiracy shit. "

^ March is 3 dumbass


-Do you speak English?
-Yes
-Name?
-Adolf Bumin.
-Sex?
-3 to 5 times a week.
-No, I mean..male/female?
-Yes, male,female and sometimes camels.
-Holy cow!
-Yes, cows, sheep...Animals in general.
-Oh dear,
-No, deer runs too fast.




Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we're making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!



16 TYPES OF FACEBOOKERS:
1. EXTREME photo editors
2. Extremely frequent status updaters
3. Attention seekers
4. Wall posters
5. Gamers
6. Cars for profile picturers
7. Depressing status updaters
8. Swearers
9. Constant status likers
10. Stalkers
11. Fake relationshipers
12. Inboxers
13. Pokers
14. Guys who take pictures in mirrors
15. One who cant spell
16. Song lyrics for status




Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: » Magic « on March 13, 2011, 05:08:24 AM
Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we're making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!



LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Cheesicle on March 13, 2011, 06:36:12 AM


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

LOL.
"OH MY GOD GUYS 2011 IS 2+0+1+1 IS 4, 4 TIMES 2011 IS 8044, 2012 IS 2+0+1+2 IS 5, 5 TIMES 2012 IS 10060! 10060 MINUS 8044 IS 2016! IT'S MARCH NEXT MONTH, WHICH IS 4! 2016 MINUS 4 IS 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like if you're sick of this number conspiracy shit. "



SO TRUE. LOL
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: ursus on March 13, 2011, 08:29:30 AM

5. Gamers
14. Guys who take pictures in mirrors
16. Song lyrics for status
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Cheesicle on March 13, 2011, 10:42:01 PM
Wtf i just found out today that you can change ur facebook language to "Pirate" "Leet Speak" and "Upside-down" o_o
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Hitman on March 13, 2011, 11:03:47 PM
Wtf i just found out today that you can change ur facebook language to "Pirate" "Leet Speak" and "Upside-down" o_o
Thx for the tip :D
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: Sabb on March 14, 2011, 08:35:47 AM
Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we're making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!
Geeze, I almost went a year without hearing that one...
Title: Re: face fucking book.
Post by: » Magic « on March 14, 2011, 11:21:48 AM
Wtf i just found out today that you can change ur facebook language to "Pirate" "Leet Speak" and "Upside-down" o_o

You only just realised that? LOL xd