.:`=-~rANdOm~`-=:. Game Servers

.:`=-~rANdOm~`-=:. Game Servers (Read Only) => Discussion => Topic started by: jimonions on December 03, 2010, 07:11:41 PM

Title: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: jimonions on December 03, 2010, 07:11:41 PM
 
I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your f**king will power'

Top tip; if you’re camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex........... Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.
 
 I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.. Apparently the instruction ' finish off on her face ' didn't mean ' What I thought it did '
 
 A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said ' sorry about the wait ' I said ' don't worry fatty , your bound to lose it eventually '
 
Snow in the forcast!  The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!'
 
 I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them..............Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'
 
 Years ago it was suggested ' that an apple a day kept the doctor away ' But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
 
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and “Mexicans” were not the correct answers.
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Rocket50 on December 03, 2010, 07:26:04 PM
There are 3 guys in a cafe

the 1st guy says"I must have the smallest arms in the world!"

the 2nd guy says "i must have the smallest head in the world!'

the 3rd guy says"I must have the smallest dick in the world!"

then,they go to check the Guiness world Records

the 1st guy then,says "YES!i was right!i got the smallest arms in the world!

the 2nd guy says"i DO have the smallest head in the world!"

the 3rd guy storms in and says angrily"WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER?!?!"

Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Supertoaster on December 03, 2010, 07:50:11 PM
A neutron walks into a bar one day and orders a drink, he asks the bartender how much it costs and the bartender replies "For you, no charge" hehehe

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: aemxr on December 03, 2010, 09:19:20 PM
(http://mmoredrama.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/super-cool-story-bro.png)
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Devie on December 03, 2010, 09:33:35 PM
Quote
I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them..............Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'


I was asked that question before.
But it was in a lab.

LOL.....
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Osme on December 03, 2010, 09:47:19 PM
Quote from: Moolz ♥ on December 03, 2010, 09:33:35 PM

I was asked that question before.
But it was in a lab.

LOL.....

its funny cause chloroform is slow
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Cake Faice on December 03, 2010, 09:57:17 PM
Wut did the AMD say to...the...Intel....err

I got nothing  :idk:
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Supertoaster on December 04, 2010, 12:47:31 AM
Quote from: jimonions on December 03, 2010, 07:11:41 PM
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and “Mexicans” were not the correct answers.



FUCKING LOL :pokeball: :knife: ;D
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Devie on December 04, 2010, 01:07:34 AM
Quote from: Supertoaster on December 04, 2010, 12:47:31 AM


FUCKING LOL :pokeball: :knife: ;D

OOHHHH I JUST NOW GOT IT!
"cells" OH OK.


man...
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: » Magic « on December 04, 2010, 02:26:15 AM
Quote from: jimonions on December 03, 2010, 07:11:41 PM

I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your f**king will power'

Top tip; if you’re camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex........... Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.
 
 I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.. Apparently the instruction ' finish off on her face ' didn't mean ' What I thought it did '
 
 A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said ' sorry about the wait ' I said ' don't worry fatty , your bound to lose it eventually '
 
Snow in the forcast!  The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!'
 
 I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them..............Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'
 
 Years ago it was suggested ' that an apple a day kept the doctor away ' But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
 
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and “Mexicans” were not the correct answers.


LLOOLLOLOLOLOL
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Cable on December 04, 2010, 08:40:51 AM
Whats the difference from a gay couple and a refrigerator?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Devie on December 04, 2010, 09:49:00 AM
Quote from: Cable on December 04, 2010, 08:40:51 AM
Whats the difference from a gay couple and a refrigerator?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

that's fucking nasty.
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Deacon on December 04, 2010, 09:55:09 AM
Quote from: Moolz ♥ on December 04, 2010, 09:49:00 AM
that's fucking nasty.

yes. yes it is.
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Carp on December 04, 2010, 02:19:03 PM
Quote from: Moolz ♥ on December 04, 2010, 09:49:00 AM
that's fucking nasty.
LOLOLOLOL
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: ryuijiq on December 04, 2010, 09:54:56 PM
LOL at the blacks and mexicans in cells one (we studied biology last year in 7th grade)

Deacon I love the AGIF in your sig :D
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Supertoaster on December 04, 2010, 10:03:38 PM
Two cannibals are eating a clown when one cannibal turns to the other and asks "Does this taste funny to you?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: jimonions on December 04, 2010, 10:04:33 PM
 :gtfo:
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: ryuijiq on December 04, 2010, 10:06:56 PM
D: you had me convinced there for a second

I need $30
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Deacon on December 05, 2010, 12:21:27 PM
Quote from: Supertoaster on December 04, 2010, 10:03:38 PM
Two cannibals are eating a clown when one cannibal turns to the other and asks "Does this taste funny to you?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

moo and coolz?
Title: Re: another unfunny joke thread
Post by: Rocket50 on December 05, 2010, 09:39:55 PM
So a Chinese man and his wife make 8 babies and the government only allows 1, so the goverment tells the man, sir, you can only have one baby. And he gives him a condom.

The man says, how do I use this?

The government man demonstrates to the man by taking the condom, and speading it on his 2 fingers..

The next day, the same man with 8 children comes back tells him that he got his wife pregnant again, and the government asks, are you sure you used the condom like

I showed you?

The man tells him, Yeah, I put it on my two fingers like you showed me.