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face fucking book.

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Devie:
those stupid like pages on face fucking book that are sometimes funny.



--- Quote ---American kid: "You're from the UK? Ohhh cool, So do you have tea with the Queen?".
British kid: "Do you like, go to mcdonalds with Obama?".
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:30.
--- End quote ---
^ that is so fucking true.


--- Quote ---Kid : Mom can I wear mini-skirt today ?
Mom : No !
Kid : Can I wear lipstick?
Mom : No !
Kid : Can I wear high heels ?
...Mom : No !
Kid : But mom! I'm 18 years old !
Mom : I know John , I know ...
--- End quote ---



--- Quote ---Teacher: Is this made by humans or nature?
Me: It's man-made.
Teacher: NO! Never say 'man-made!" Women make things too...
Me: Like, sandwiches?
--- End quote ---
^ LOL'd



--- Quote ---I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
--- End quote ---



--- Quote ---*girl look's at her moms drivers license*
Girl: Mom, i know why dad left you!
mom: Oh yeah, why?
Girl: Because you got an F in sex.
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---Teacher: What's the plural form of ox?
Student: Oxes?
Teacher: Oxen.
Student: Ohhh.
Teacher: What's the plural form of box?
Student: Boxen?
Teacher: ...
--- End quote ---



--- Quote ---*Texting dad*
You: Hey dad, can I get some money for some coke?
Dad: Sure... is $60 enough?
You: Dad. It's $1.25.
Dad: Wow, the price sure went down from when I was a kid...
You: DAD! COCA-COLA?
Dad: Oh...
--- End quote ---



--- Quote ---that awkward moment when you have 238793278934710974091273912748918q8394789347 tabs open and you can’t figure out which one the music is coming from.
--- End quote ---
sabb..



--- Quote ---"DAD DAD!!!!! COME HERE
QUICK! OH DEAR GOD PLEASE COME!!!"
"WHAT!? WHO'S HURT!!"
"no one, there's a spider...please kill it"
--- End quote ---
lawl I do this with proudly



--- Quote ---a mother walks into her sons room and glares
mum: I smell weed, have you been smoking?
son: Mum I'm shocked, how do you know what weed smells like?!?!!?!
mum:..... -_-' damn
--- End quote ---

k no more funny ones. I'll put up more funny ones cuz it's obviously deteriorating ._.
But I'll put more up when I find :D

Frank:
lulululululullululul @ the school ones

Supertoaster:
I saw a lot of those on the art of trolling.

Foofoojack:

--- Quote ---Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
--- End quote ---

I LOLD

ursus:
>send friend request
>a ride denied

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