.:`=-~rANdOm~`-=:. Game Servers (Read Only) > Discussion

Life Advice

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Infinimint:
@Hideo
Thanks for your input, I hope so as well.

@Frank
I don't necessarily think it's chemical, but at this point, I have no idea. Thanks for your words though, hopefully it'll get better soon.

@Unit
I'm extremely appreciative of what you said. I'll message you later.

@Prox
Yes, grades are starting to become a much larger priority and selling the computer is definitely a contributing factor. As for my job, I work at a restaurant and the thing is, if I stop doing those shitty tasks, the restaurant would seriously collapse without anyone doing them. I don't do it because I want to, but because if I didn't, nobody would, and someone would get fired. I'd hope that person would not be myself. I just wish my managers would realize this. Regarding the debt, for the most part, my parents. Which makes me feel terrible since I don't like my parents having to pay for anything I do which is why I don't ask for much.

Prox:

--- Quote from: Infinimint on February 02, 2014, 11:14:49 AM ---Yes, grades are starting to become a much larger priority and selling the computer is definitely a contributing factor. As for my job, I work at a restaurant and the thing is, if I stop doing those shitty tasks, the restaurant would seriously collapse without anyone doing them. I don't do it because I want to, but because if I didn't, nobody would, and someone would get fired. I'd hope that person would not be myself. I just wish my managers would realize this. Regarding the debt, for the most part, my parents. Which makes me feel terrible since I don't like my parents having to pay for anything I do which is why I don't ask for much.

--- End quote ---
Well if it's just debt to your parents then I think you should ease off a little, because with this kind of determination that you have I'm sure that you will sooner or later repay your debt to them and it doesn't have to be at a cost of your mental health, you can just give yourself more time and make a steady progress without dedicating yourself completely for work. After all, parents are there to support us until we finish our studies and become completely independent.
   

Xrain:
So I'll start off with about your friend. Take a moment and look back at all of your semi-recent notable actions with her at the start of your falling out, and try to distance yourself enough from them that you can look at them in a negative light.

As far as I see it, I can understand how she can feel uncomfortable with you. Not that she is correct in her assumptions but I can at least understand how she can feel that way.

First off asking to take someone's picture isn't a simple request. People are weird about that kind of thing, so you need to approach that carefully. Think about all the negative connotations you can make from a male asking for a female's picture. Your mind is dirty enough I'm sure you can think of plenty. So if you ask someone for their picture and they say no, you just drop it. It is extremely easy to make people really uncomfortable if you ask them multiple times about something like that. It's something that you will have to accept in photography unless you intend to have a career as a paparazzi photographer.


--- Quote ---However, overhearing her talk the other day...
--- End quote ---
Statements like this should set off alarm bells in your own mind, yes I understand you didn't intend anything malicious about eavesdropping on her, but the fact of the matter is you were eavesdropping. So it likely wasn't any one thing that made her get this opinion of you. It was probably a whole bunch of innocent things but put together and given the correct negative spin in a persons mind, you can easily form negative opinions about people.

So honestly? Keep your distance, and do not form any intentions about trying to mend things as it will just make it worse. In a few years time perhaps after you both have had a chance to mature and forget about stuff, perhaps you can become good acquaintances again, but you guys wont have the same close friendship again. I'm sorry man, but its what happens when you are growing up. Your brain changes its wiring a bit, and now you have different opinions about stuff. I had some friend where a similar falling out occurred, it hurt pretty good, I was happy to get some new friends at college, but I just stopped worrying about it. A few years later I ran into them a few times, and now we are good acquaintances at least.

So I am going to repeat myself just so we are clear. Any attempts to try and mend things this soon after will just hurt both of you. Get some time (a year or so at least) and distance between you and her; that more than anything will mend stuff between you.


No for your car and work stuff. Insurance should have paid for your first accident, T-boneing a truck is far too expensive of an accident to not use your insurance for. So unless you parents have 10 cars on insurance you should have used it.

If you and your family are going to have difficulty feeding yourselves because of the debt, then that is one thing. If it is just making things difficult you guys you are letting your ego get in your way. I say this because I am just as guilty in doing this. It's pretty damn painful to disappoint people like that especially your parents, it's a natural reaction to want to deal with it as soon as you possibly can. But from the sounds of it that is the wrong way to go in this case.

Sit down with your parents, and talk to them. Tell them that you realize you messed up pretty good, but you want to make sure you pay off this debt in the most responsible manner you can. Bring your income forms with you and tell them this is how much you make a month, and after taxes this is how much I can pay you a month. Make sure the number is within your means, if you are not eating at the expense of paying your parents you are not handling this in a responsible manner. Don't solve a mistake with another one. But once you do settle on a payment level, make it. Make it every single month with no questions asked. To do this make sure the payment level is something you feel comfortable making a promise like this.

This is by no means the easy way to go. This conversation will likely be one of the most difficult you will make. But in the end it will be a much greater relief

Secondly. I know you want to make photography your job. That said, everyone wants to make photography their job. You are too intelligent of a person to be wasting your time working in a restaurant. Go to school and get some IT certificates or a comp sci degree. Get your feet underneath you with a well paying job that you still reasonably enjoy doing. Then with photography as your main hobby, keep working at your photography stuff. Take a few classes in it while you are in college, and then after you have a solid footing underneath you and you start making clients on the side with your photography then transition into it, if that is still what you want to do.

Go to a public college that is in state. The benefit of going to an expensive college is pretty meaningless if it means it puts you hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt.

Also do the crappy jobs, and do not expect to get anything out of it. I know you don't go up to your bosses and go HEY BOSS LOOKAT ME, but if you do those jobs with the intention of getting something out of it, it will backfire. Because subliminally when you have this mindset it changes your behavior ever so slightly, and people pick up on it even if they don't realize that they are.

One of favorites of my grandpa's saying is " The harder you work, the luckier you get. "
The reason for this, is you will never get great opportunities, unless you put yourself in a position to take advantage of them.

I was as honest as I could be here, I know there are plenty things that I have said that you will disagree with, but either way message me on steam when you see I'm online, we should talk for a bit on teamspeak.

Infinimint:
@Xrain

By picture, I meant drawing. None of what I wrote was about photography, sorry if it was misinterpreted. I've been pursuing computer science since I was ten years old fully intend to continue. :)

For the car (I was the one who was T-boned), insurance covered it, but now I'm working on paying my dad back for the deductible, all upgrades/maintenance we have done to the vehicle, as well as extra to make-up for the loss since we will be selling it and will more than likely not get what we are hoping for it. As for the other car, my parents finally decided to put it on the insurance but were waiting because they wanted to make sure they wouldn't get dropped since my sister had totaled a truck and a few other accidents. The difficulty it brought was not necessarily the cost, but the fact that everyone in my house works and now two of the vehicles we had before, nobody can drive. This has put a ton of stress on my parents as they've been having to take care of all the transportation for everyone which is really demanding.

I've been talking with my parents and have found they're much more reasonable than I had thought. We're still in the works of figuring out exactly how I'm going to pay them back, since my income varies heavily, but I think they have an idea.

As for school, my current plan is to attend community college to knock-out Gen. Ed. requirements and then transfer to a University. Although, there is a possibility of getting a full-ride on computer science (since my teacher is very close with the University's administration and professors), but that hasn't been decided yet.

"The harder you work, the luckier you get. " He sounds very wise, I very much like that quote. My attitude towards doing the jobs isn't poor by any means, hell, I'm just happy to be making money and to have a job. But at the same time, I'm just hoping that I can find a way to make a bit more since about $5.50/hr after taxes and only about 20-35 hours a week isn't much when I have to pay monthly bills on top of paying back my parents.

There's a few people I've been trying to get a hold of to talk to, but without my computer setup, it's a bit rough trying to use the forum, Steam, TeamSpeak, and whatever else. I find it easiest at the moment just to use Facebook, but I'll be sure to catch up with you sometime and have a talk. It's been a while since I've gotten to hear you talk about physics, engines, and other science-related stuff. :)

Fenix:
Good to heard you're starting to solve your problems Infinimint. Keep up at it! And in case you ever need this, I just want to put it here.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7OGY1Jxp3o

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