.:`=-~rANdOm~`-=:. Game Servers (Read Only) > Discussion
Death
pyrosheep:
--- Quote from: Me Likes Dis! :D on December 20, 2012, 04:17:44 PM ---Why is it that when everyone is below the age of 8 and loses a loved one they feel sad but when my aunt passed away from cancer when i was like 4 i felt...nothing.
And the day when my grandad passed away due to having cancer like my aunt when i was 6,my grandma was crying so badly and all the other old people were trying to calm her down.
But me...why the fuck was i just sitting in a corner doing abosolutely nothing,just sitting there and staring blindly at my Grandmother.
But one strange thing that happened the night my Grandad died was when everyone went outside to him and left me at home,
i suddenly felt extremely scrared as fuck and didin't know what to do and i don't remember the rest.
The day of his funeral i felt nothing yet again,i was just standing there doing nothing,i don't think i even looked at his grave.
So...why the hell did i not shed a single tear for anyone's death in my family? I have no idea how these things work
--- End quote ---
Some people are just like that. I haven't cried in like 5 years, I've been sad and everything gotten choked up and stuff, like the Sandy Hook shooting made me choke about a bit, and it got me in a pretty depressed mood for a day. But some people just don't like/or just don't show emotion as easily as others. My dad is exactly like me and the last time I saw him cry was when 9/11 happens, 11 years ago. Don't be worried about it, it's just how you're built.
Also sorry Marie if it's a touchy subject for you.
○ Μαρία ○:
--- Quote from: pyrosheep on December 20, 2012, 04:40:58 PM ---Some people are just like that. I haven't cried in like 5 years, I've been sad and everything gotten choked up and stuff, like the Sandy Hook shooting made me choke about a bit, and it got me in a pretty depressed mood for a day. But some people just don't like/or just don't show emotion as easily as others. My dad is exactly like me and the last time I saw him cry was when 9/11 happens, 11 years ago. Don't be worried about it, it's just how you're built.
Also sorry Marie if it's a touchy subject for you.
--- End quote ---
It's alright, my beliefs as I've said help me get through it. People might not agree with me, but when I think of God, everything seems to make more sense to me. The world seems less empty, like I have a purpose, like there is something to live for after life. I know there are those who think that type of thinking is foolish, but if it helps me live a healthy life, free of depression and the thought of dying and never seeing my loved ones again, then I am okay with that. I like being happy, and knowing a least one person cares about me even when I feel alone or sad.
·UηİŦ··:
Death.
I don't even know where to begin.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)In the end, it's just that.
Death.
Beginning, End. Something, yet meant to imply that you have become nothing but a shell.
I don't know what happens when we die. I know what happens as we watch someone die face value... but I don't know what happens when we die.
I don't know what death really is, in it's final form, from one's self-perspective. What anything really is.
Whether math can be a real universal concept, or some funky random way to assign completely out of this world universal values or information in the form of symbols, that became a language over time in our tenacious, clever little heads, by chance.
I only know what I think it is, what I can perceive. And I can't say for sure. I only know what my eyes know, what my ears know, what my nose knows, what my mouth knows.
What my fingers feel, what they touch and what they recoil from.
I'm perfectly fine if death is really nothingness, as paradoxical as the word nothing itself is. I lived here and now, I lived 12 seconds ago, I am still there 12 seconds ago.
AT least, that's how it seems. So, whatever. If there is another life, another place, whatever it may be, I'm also fine with that.
I'm not the one pressing the buttons here. We could even be a simulation... and yet I still don't mind.
There was a time once.
A time where I wished everything was just, just.
Set right. Not one visible or invisible mark of suffering or plight in the world. Like one harmonious calculator solving 2+2.
But, I failed to also recognize everything else.
The capacity for memories. The capacity for emotion, real or an illusion, the sheer magnitude of the strange behavior only found in small pockets of other fauna.
Thoughts, interactions, all the forces, all the physical reactions, the trickery of infraction, all the beautiful wavelengths, the actions, the possibilities, the heart, the mind, the touch, the sky, the Sun, all the planets, the galaxy, her sisters, their cluster, it's vein, it's regions... and the entire expanse of physical and metaphysical reality.
A concept of time. Time, like space. The ability to even pretend to know I know anything, to give things values and speak languages.
To stare at the sky, the boundless night sky made of glittering dust, and feel helpless, still. With all that we say we know, all that has been done in the name of whatever we name.
I look into the expanse and feel the very essence of myself fall into the void. A little Scared, a little Ambitious. Apprehensive, Curious and Lachrymal. But I continue to stare.
Still trying to throw my hands at it.
To touch it. Just once.
What is death? What is life?
Why?
Suffering gives you insight... you learn that things do not last (in the straightforward sense), are not like stone.
Even stone gives in to the erosion of time itself, let alone the elements.
I realized, that should any of that hold true, then there is already a place where x is y.
There's a place where x is z and y never occurs.
Where y can never occur because x is a before z.
And because of that, Unit Z is perfectly fine. Everyone Z is fine. I'm okay with that.
I'll sit here and be me, so that I can be me somewhere else.
Or, I'll consider the opposite; Unit Y is in a living hell. So I'd better be grateful I'm not that instance.
Or maybe none of that is real, and I'm just really laid back and at peace with things.
Cried so much when I was younger, I don't feel like I'll ever cry again.
I know no joy except the joy of being. I know no sadness except the sadness of being without meaning, relative or concrete. I know no limits except my understanding of even myself.
So Death.
I don't know who you are, I don't know why it is you keep knocking on every man's doorstep.
I don't know what it is you do.
I understand why sometimes it can be a debilitating blow to one's self emotionally, but my outlook on life is so varied... I can't feel sadness for you, Death, when you show up late to the party.
Not anymore, at least. There was a time, but that time has come and gone.
Only sympathy, and subdued joy spouts from my being, for you. Sometimes exasperation, if I felt that your entrance was unnecessary and unjust, too quick. That someone forfeit your game of chance to get ahead in another one's shoes.
I only know you never call in advance.
I only know, that there is a small chance we will never meet.
So I wait for you to tell me Why, Death.
I wait.
Jhon:
--- Quote from: †KHMarie† on December 20, 2012, 04:46:42 PM ---It's alright, my beliefs as I've said help me get through it. People might not agree with me, but when I think of God, everything seems to make more sense to me. The world seems less empty, like I have a purpose, like there is something to live for after life. I know there are those who think that type of thinking is foolish, but if it helps me live a healthy life, free of depression and the thought of dying and never seeing my loved ones again, then I am okay with that. I like being happy, and knowing a least one person cares about me even when I feel alone or sad.
--- End quote ---
But even if you believe in god, it doesn't really change the face that we don't really have any purpose. So you die and reach heaven, what then?
I also kind of fell into depression last year when I started thinking too much about our purpose, death and how people can live so happily when there are millions of people which suffer everyday, but I figured that if it bothers me so much I should do something about it. Don't have a purpose? So my purpose became to be able to change things, so no one will have to suffer because they don't get even their basic needs. I don't care if it's impossible, I'll make it possible, and just that thought gives me strength, a good reason to live, a purpose.
Then I thought about death. I'm a human so one day my time will come too, but I don't want to die. So I decided I'll find a way to stay alive, and there are some scientists that say in 30 years we will have the technology to make people immortal. There are researches going on that are trying to find the way to make it happen. So I have another purpose, to get enough money to support those researches. If not for me then for everyone else that wishes to stay alive for longer. Another reason I want to live longer is because I want to be alive when space traveling would be normal and part of the everyday life, maybe even meet aliens =P
My wishes might sound impossible, but for me they sound more possible than an existance of a god and it also gives me a better purpose and reason.
Prox:
I didn't thought that death could effect me or my close family members before I would get older, I was wrong, my father died when I was 13 years old, that was probably the biggest impact to me in my life. Since my father died while sleeping I became paranoid that the same thing might happen to my mom and she is the only family member I have left. Over time I've learned to live with that feeling.
Now the thought of death doesn't really bother me much, even though my emotions tend to be strong and raise very quickly, but I do think I'm good at hiding them when needed and I also realize that thinking about it is pointless because all it would probably do is slow me down, and I want to make constant progress in my life. That's probably the main reason why death doesn't scare me that much.
Another thing that makes me feel better about death is my belief that after death you reborn as a different person.
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