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Cheesicle's Guide to Understandable Chinese

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Cheesicle:
CHING CHANG CHONG. Before we start, I must warn you that many of the literal translations from Chinese to English will make absolutely no sense. HOWEVER, I will use English sounds to assist you in pronouncing these words. This is EXTREMELY Basic. Only use this if you are planning to only visit China.

WELCOME TO CHINESE 101!

Meaning of Accents:
ā – Horizontal line means the pitch of the word is the same throughout.
á -  Slanted upwards means the pitch of the word goes higher. Sounds like you are asking a question
ǎ － Going down then up means the pitch of the word goes low then back high. Sounds very similar to the second accent.
à – Slanted Downwards means the pitch of the word goes sharply lower. Sounds like you are saying the word after feeling sharp pain.

Pinyin:
Pinyin is what the pronunciation for Chinese words are called. For example, the Pinyin of the word “他”(him) is “tā”. In English, the word would be pronounced as “Tah”

Vowels:
ā á ǎ à (Pronounced “Ah”)
ē é ě è (Pronounced “Uhh”)
ī í ǐ ì (Pronounced as the letter “E”)
ō ó ǒ ò (Pronounced like “Ouh”)
ū ú ǔ ù (Pronounced “Oooo” like a kid would say when he’s tattle-telling on someone)
ü （Pronounced “Ur”. Rhymes with the word “Pure”, or rhymes with the Spanish verb “ir”)

Note that only Vowels have accents, and the accent is placed upon which ever letter appears first in the vowel sequence. For example, the word "白" (White) is pronounced "bai". It has two vowels, but the accent is placed upon "a" since "a" comes before "i" in "a e i o u". Therefore, the pinyin of 白 is "bái".

Others:
X is pronounced as “Sh”. For example, the word 西(West) is pronounced “Xī ” which is then pronounced as English word “She”.
Q is pronounced as “Ch”. For example, my last name 齐，is pronounced “Qí“, and in English, “Chi”.

Basic Nouns:
我 (Pronounced "wó" or "woah".) - Means "I" or "me".
你 (Pronounced "ní" or "nee".) - Means "you".
他 (Pronounced "tā" or "tah".) - Means "he".
她 (Pronounced "tā" or "tah". It is pronounced exactly the same as "he".) - Means "she".
它 (Pronounced "tā" or "tah". It is pronounced exactly the same as "he" or "she".) - Means "it".

For plural version of these, you simple add "们" (Pronounced "men" or "mun" at the end of the noun. For example, "我们" means "us". "你们" means "you guys".

Basic Phrases:
的 (Pronounced “de” or “duh”. It has no accent.) – This word is probably one of the most useful Chinese words you will ever encounter. It does not have an English meaning. This word is used to show possession. For example, “我的”（Pronounced “Wǒ de” or “Woah Duh”) means “mine or my”. 我 by itself simply means “me” or “I”. Adding 的 gives it a possessive meaning. However, in some cases, 的 can mean “s’ ”. For example, “Shawns’ ” is “Shawn的“

你好 （Pronounced “ní hǎo” or “knee how”) Pretty much everybody knows this word. It simply means “Hello”. However, if you break down the phrase into the two words 你 and 好，you will find that it has a whole different meaning. 你 means “you” and 好 means “good”. Basically the literal translation of 你好 is “you good” which does not make much sense. This is just how Chinese is.   

再见 (Pronounced “zài jiàn” or “tsai gee-ann”)  Simply means “Goodbye”. Breaking down, though, you will find 再 and 见. 再 means “again” and 见 means “meet”. Putting them together would translate to “Meet again” which makes somewhat a little sense.

我的名字是。。。 （Pronounced “wǒ de míng zì shì” or “woah duh ming zuh shir”) Again the possessive word 的 appears. This phrase means “My name is…” and it is a word-for-word translation of how it appears in Chinese. 我的 means “my”, 名字 means “name”, and 是 means “is”. (Notice that Chinese periods are hollowed out circles and not dots.)

我不会说中文 （Pronounced “wǒ bú huì shuō zhōng wén” or “woah boo huay shuo zhong when”) This means “I can’t speak Chinese”. 我 means “I”, 不 means any negative answer (ex. “No”, “Not” ect.), 会 means “can” (as in the ability to do something. NOT can as in soup can), 说 means “speak”, “say”, or “said”, and 中文 means “Chinese”. When 不 and 会 are added together, (不会)it means “can’t”.

请问你，厕所在那里？（Pronounced “qǐng wèn nǐ, cè suǒ zài ná lǐ” or “ching when nee, chuh suo zhye nah lee” This means “May I ask where the bathroom is?” 请问你 is only needed when you are talking to someone with respect or if you are talking to someone you don’t know, (ex. Restaurant Employees.) and means “May I ask” or “Excuse me”. 厕所 means “bathroom”, 在 means “is at”, and 那里 means “where”. Literal translation is “Excuse me, bathroom is at where?” Makes a little sense.

吗？(Pronounced “mā” or “mah”) This means “are” or “can”. You only put this AFTER the question, and NOT in the beginning like English does. For example, 你好吗？ Means “Are you okay?” (Literal translation is “You okay are?”) and “你可以帮我吗？“ （Pronounced ní ké yǐ bāng wǒ mā) means “Can you help me?”, where 可以 means “can” or “yes” (Only if being asked about your ability to do an action) and 帮 means “help”. (Literal translation is “You can help me can?”)

Numbers:
一 (Pronounced “yī” or “E”) One.
二 (Pronounced “èr”) Two.
三 (Pronounced “sān”) Three.
四 (Pronounced “sì” or “suh”) Four.
五 (Pronounced “wǔ” or “ooo”) Five.
六 (Pronounced “lìu” or “leo”. The “e” must be said very quickly.) Six.
七 (Pronounced “qī” or “chi”) Seven
八 (Pronounced “bā” or “bah”) Eight
九 (Pronounced “jǐu” or “joe”) Nine
十 (Pronounced “shí” or “shir”) Ten
百 (Pronounced “bǎi” or “bye”) Hundred
千 （Pronounced “qiān” or “Chian”) Thousand
万 （Pronounced “wàn”) Ten Thousand
十万 Hundred Thousand.
百万 Million.
Putting numbers together is extremely easy. To say twenty, you just put two and ten together (二十). To say forty six, you put and four, ten, and six together (四十六). To say three hundred eighty nine, you put three, hundred, eight, ten, and nine together (三百八十九), etcetera.

Family:
妈妈 (Pronounced mā mā, or "Mah-mah") Mother.
爸爸 (Pronounced bà bà, or "Bah-bah") Father
哥哥 (Pronounced gē gē , or "Guh-guh) [Older] Brother
弟弟 (Pronounced dì dì, or "Dee-dee") Younger Brother
姐姐 (Pronounced jiě jiě, or "Jie-jie") [Older] Sister
妹妹 (Pronounced mèi mèi, or "May-may") Younger Sister
兄弟 (Pronounced xiōng dì, or "Shong dee") Brother (Regardless of age)
阿姨 (Pronounced ā yí, or "Ah-E") Aunt
叔叔 (Pronounced shū shū, or "Shu-shu") Uncle
爷爷 (Pronounced yé yé, or "Yeh-yeh") Grandfather
奶奶 (Pronounced nǎi nǎi, or "Nye-nye" - You know, like 'Bill Nye the science guy'.) Grandmother
表哥 (Pronounced biǎo gē, or "Biao-guh") Older cousin (Male)
表弟 (Pronounced biǎo dì, or "Biao-dee") Younger cousin (Male)
表姐 (Pronounced biǎo jiě, or "Biao-jie") Older cousin (Female)
表妹 (Pronounced biǎo mèi, or "Biao-may") Younger cousin (Female)

Swear Words for you inappropriate fuckers:

操你妈 - Literally means "Fuck your mom." 操 means "fuck", 你 means "your", and 妈 means "mother". Notice that for this, you can leave out the second "妈". This applies to all family members except for Aunt, Uncle, Cousins, and Grandmother/father. Ex.) 操你爸 means "Fuck your Dad".
赶你娘 - Same as above
鸡巴 - Dick
他妈的 - Literally means "Your moms." However, in this case, it means "Fuck!" as a nonsensical exclamation.
阴道 - Vagina
吸 - Suck
胸部 - Boobs, Tits, Breasts, whatever.
蛋蛋 - Literally means eggs, but can mean balls (testicles).

What I have just taught you is the most basic I can go. If you want to learn Chinese more in-depth, hire your own Chinese teacher.

Cheesicle:
BUMP MUTHUH FUCKUHS I SPENT MY ENTIRE DAY MAKING THIS GUIDE

Frank:
stickod

Peetah:
I ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN CHINESE.

» Magic «:
NEED OVER 9000 INSTEAD OF 1000 D:

nice guide though +1 respect

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