My roommate is getting on my nerves. I'll tell it from the beginning. He and I get along rather well. We aren't necessarily good friends, but good acquaintances who don't fight. We've never had an actual argument or major problem. However, last semester he started bringing in what seemed to be a different girl every other week. Though I thankfully have not seen it or heard enough proof, I can almost surely say they are fucking every time he has a girl over. Our dorm rooms are not just a square room like some colleges; we have my section in the front and his section in the back, separated by a curtain and the bathroom area: (http://i.gyazo.com/c44bf4096e4fdc26915651cb51e4d0ac.png)
So thankfully it's private for them. I couldn't care less what he does; it's his deal, not mine. However, I'm not entirely comfortable with two people fucking while I'm in the room, or trying to sleep. It may not bother others much, but I get extremely agitated by the idea of people having sex while I'm in the same room, and random noises such as kissing and quiet talk while I'm in my bed, attempting to fall asleep are very irritating. After the first few times, I brought it up to him and asked if he could at least not do it while I was also in the room, and he first lied to me, saying nothing was going on. A few minutes later, he comes back and tells me (paraphrased) "Ok, just don't tell anyone please. I'll stop doing it while you're here, and ask you to leave from now on if I'll be having someone over."
My immediate problems with this:
1) You lied to me. Thanks.
2) You expect me to leave when you want to get busy in our room? This is practically where I live. What, do you expect me to go sit in the lobby for an hour at 1am?
3) Do your multiple girlfriends not have rooms of their own? Why can't you go over to them? If it's because their roommates don't want stuff going on, ok: how do you think I feel? You never even asked me in the first place if I was OK with what you was doing.
Well, after this confrontation, he pretty much stopped having girls over (to my knowledge) for a couple months. He began telling me how much he disliked this school and how "psycho" the chicks here are (My bet is he wants a different school with a fresh batch of girls). He has a very bad record with his girlfriends; none of the ones he's had here have lasted much more than a week or two. He pretty much uses them for sex, and then thinks they are psycho when they want an actual relationship. Last semester, there was this big episode between him and some girl over a shirt. She "gave" him her sorority shirt one night she was over, and when they finished their "relationship", she wanted it back. He refused to return it, out of spite. They got in a huge fight and shouted in the hall and kinda destroyed some things. All the while, I'm neutrally sitting here playing vidya games, while they are both talking to me when the other wasn't there, trying to get me to side with them. I just thought "It's a fucking shirt, just give it back and make her shut up."
Well, just last week, he started bringing in a girl again, and from the noises, I'm betting it's the 'hump-then-dump' again. My immediate problems with this:
1) You lied again. You said you would ask me to leave, and here we are. All three of us.
2) This semester is quite harder, and I'd love to be able to have a peaceful sleep. Quiet down.
3) Bad life choices, roomie.
And so here I am. Because he didn't keep his word on not getting busy while I'm here as well as notifying me beforehand, our contract is broken. I know the general guidelines: If you have a disagreement with roomates, talk to them first. If they don't listen, talk to the Residential Leader of the hall. If they can't solve it, talk to counseling, etc. I'm asking you people what you think I should do. From what I can see, I have three options:
1) I don't want to be an asshole and get him in trouble, but it is actually against the dorms' rules to have visitors after 1am on the weekdays (a rule which, understandably, almost everyone looks past.) However, it would be an effective way to make it stop, at the cost of our own relationship.
2) I could confront him again myself. However, I wouldn't know what to say. Also, because he lied to me, I can't trust that he'll follow through with anything I ask of him.
3) I could let it go and let the jimmies rustle through me. Seriously though, if I don't do anything about it, I fear I will only build up resentment and hate toward him. It will add to my stress level, which is DEFINITELY not needed right now.
So as you can see, almost anything I do will result in either resentment/hatred for each other or awkwardness for the rest of the year. Again, it may not seem like it would bother you if you were in my place, but to me, it's like a severe pet peeve. If something really bothers me, I believe I need to fix that problem instead of letting it stress me out.
If anyone has helpful advice, please give. Thanks for reading.
tl;dr roomate problems. read it.